


Jerry Martinez is NOT Gay (and other lies he tells himself)

by nicolestarlightwrites



Category: Kickin' It
Genre: Bisexual Milton Krupnick, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Gay Jerry Martinez, Gay Panic, Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Now Complete!, and accepting requests (see end notes of last chapter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicolestarlightwrites/pseuds/nicolestarlightwrites
Summary: Jerry Martinez is a lot of things: he's loyal, he's funny, he's a great dancer, and he's nothing if not a ladies' man.Well, sorta.Follow Jerry as he experiences love, loss, and a gay panic like no other.
Relationships: Jack Brewer/Kim Crawford, Jerry Martinez/Original Female Character(s), Milton Krupnick/Jerry Martinez
Comments: 35
Kudos: 36





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I literally don't know how or why I got here, I only know that I did. Anyways, please enjoy and let me know if you want to see more of this ship!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry ponders why his relationships never last and gets advice from Jack.

Jerry Martinez is a lot of things: he's loyal, he's funny, he's a great dancer, and he's nothing if not a ladies man.

Well, sorta. It's just that lately, Jerry hasn't been able to keep a girl around for long. Sure, he's never had the greatest dating track record, but at this point it's just ridiculous. In fact, Jerry is pretty sure that he's gotten more mature, so why the _hell_ isn't he able to maintain a girlfriend?

* * *

After a two pop quizzes, a detention, and a long karate practice, Jerry is finally able to rest at home. His brain feels foggy and he's exhausted, so he lets his mind wander. His thoughts drift to his (somewhat unsuccessful) love life, and for once he allows himself to ponder over what caused his relationships to end.

 _It's certainly not the girls_ , he decides. _They're all smart, and kind, and loyal, and funny, and objectively pretty._ Jerry actively searches for these qualities in girls, so it's probably not them. Does that mean it's him? Is he a bad boyfriend? Is he _unlovable_?

Jerry doesn't let himself go down that path. _Of course it's not me_ , he thinks. _I have a lot of good qualities._ _I'm_... Jerry struggles to come up with anything, and immediately his mood shifts from confused to dejected 

_WelI, I guess it is me._

* * *

The next day is a Saturday, so Jerry doesn't have to go to school (thank goodness!) He does go to the dojo, however, to work off some residual frustration from last night's depressing spiral. Once he gets to there, Jerry moves a punching dummy to the middle of the sparring mat and works on his kicks.

"Woah Jerry, you're really getting into it, aren't you," Jack says upon entering the dojo.

"Oh, hey bro," Jerry responds. He faces Jack and a has a realization. "Yo, dude, you have to help me!"

"Sure man, what is it?" Jack sits on the bench and gestures for Jerry to have a seat as well.

"How long have you and Kim been together?"

"For a pretty long time, I'd say. Why, what's up?" Jerry begins to feel a little nervous, but he quickly brushes it off. There's no need for him to be uncomfortable asking for advice, Jack is one of his closest friends. "How have you two managed to stay together for so long? It feels like every time I try to get serious with a girl, I always screw it up."

"Jerry, don't talk about yourself like that! Sure your relationships never last long, but that's not your fault. Relationships are a two-way road. Both you and your girlfriend have to compromise in order to be happy and last a long time." Jerry knows that, objectively speaking, Jack is right. So why does it still not _feel_ right?

"How far can you compromise before it's too much? I always feel like I'm either changing myself too much or I'm not changing at all. Is that why I can't keep a girl? Am I the problem," Jerry wonders.

"Jerry, you are not a problem. Sometimes, it just takes us a while to figure out who we are and how we fit with other people. It's natural." Jack's words don't completely soothe the ache in Jerry's soul, but they were just what he needed to hear in that moment.

"Thanks bro, I think that really helped."

"Anything for a friend. Wanna spar?" Jerry promptly gets his ass beaten, but at least he's feeling happier.

* * *

Well, he _was_ feeling happier. At dinner time, however, things took a turn for the worst. "So, how's your girlfriend," Jerry's dad asks.

"Actually, I don't have a girlfriend right now," Jerry admits.

"Oh, you still can't keep a girl around, _casanova_ , I see. I certainly raised you well!" Ector Martinez's boisterous laugh resounded in their dining room.

"Oh Ector, leave Jerry alone. It's okay to not have a girlfriend, _hijo_. If anything, it just means you can focus on school more," his mother says. Ironically, it's Jerry's lack of a girlfriend that's keeping him away from his studies, but who can blame him? He's a teenage boy, so of course the only thing on his mind is how to get and keep a girlfriend. 

Knowing that ruminating even further will only make him frustrated, Jerry decides to truly relax after dinner. Once he cleans up his plate, he goes upstairs to play his newest favorite video game: Fallen Order. Oddly enough, the video game reminds him of Milton. He's sure his nerdy friend would enjoy the lore of the game enough to really get immersed in it. Jerry resolves to invite Milton over so they could play together sometime. He doesn't question why he thought of Milton first, nor does he wonder why being with Milton sounds like more fun than hanging out with a girl.

That night, Jerry sleeps soundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? I'm planning on adding more chapters, so if there's anything specific you want to see, please let me know. Also, follow me @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr!


	2. the girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry takes Jack's advice to heart and gets himself a girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> afdkalshsk writing in present tense is SO UNNATURAL. Anyways, enjoy!

After having thoroughly rested the weekend before, Jerry feels ready to tackle this Monday head-on. He knows that with Jack's advice and his determination, he will surely get a girlfriend.

Surely enough, he does. Cue Rebecca Simpson: green eyes, tan skin, long, black hair and even longer, toned legs. She's gorgeous, and kind, and funny, and just about everything Jerry could want in a girl. Naturally, upon seeing her, Jerry uses his tried and true pick-up line.

"What it do, girl?" She giggles at him. _Giggles!_ She's perfect!

"You're funny," she responds.

"Oh I'm more than funny, I'm just the man you're looking for. Wanna hang after school, maybe get some fro-yo?" Oh yeah, Jerry's back in the game now. Rebecca flirtatiously twirls her hair around her finger.

"Maybe I do. Pick me up at 5?"

"Will do, pretty lady." The two exchange phone numbers, and Jerry suavely winks before walking to his lunch table. He sees Jack enthusiastically giving him a thumbs-up.

"Yo guys, did you see that? Jerry Martinez has got himself a girlfriend. WHOOO!" Jack congratulates him, Kim exasperatedly rolls her eyes, and Milton...

Well, Milton is smiling, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, Milton almost looks kinda... sad. Jerry's heart twinges, but before he can ask what's wrong, Miton speaks up.

"I'm happy for you, truly." Milton certainly doesn't _seem_ truly happy, but Jerry doesn't want to call him on his bluff in front of everyone. He resolves to ask about his friend before the fro-yo date.

* * *

"And that's why the arctangent of 1 is pi over four. Does anyone have any— _Jerry! Pay attention!_ "

Jerry snaps out of his gaze. He was staring at Milton, oddly enough. His brows furrow in confusion. Maybe he's just worried about him. Milton _did_ seem disappointed at lunch, after all. Jerry didn't bother apologizing to the teacher before tuning back in to the boring math lesson.

After a grueling fifteen minutes of class, the end-of-school bell _finally_ rings. Jerry immediately looks to Milton's seat to try to grab his attention before he left, but

 _Oh,_ Jerry thinks, _it's too late._

* * *

Despite his slight disappointment from earlier in the afternoon, Jerry actually has a really good time at the fro-yo date. Rebecca Simpson is certainly a character; Jerry feels like he immediately clicks with her. Kinda.

Okay, so it's more of a friendship-type _click_ than a romantic one. Sue him. _Besides, all good relationships start with friendship_.

But at the same time, something about their interactions almost feel _forced._ It was like neither of them wanted to be romantically dedicated to the other. Jerry's used to feeling this way; that's how he always feels when dating girls. He'd always assumed that was just his character. But now, with Rebecca Simpson... _this changes things._

See, normally girls are _glad_ to do relationship things, like hold hands and go on dates. If Rebecca isn't, it must mean that the two aren't right for each other. Strangely enough, though, they both love to hang out with one another when neither of them do relationship things. 

So... now what?

Jerry decides to get some advice, again.

* * *

"Jerry, I am so honored you asked me for advice. As your Sensei, I feel a sense of responsibility for my students, and I'm glad I can help you out. Now, what kind of advice do you need today?"

"Girl advice."

"Oh, is there a special lady in your life? Well let me tell you about my high school girlfriend, Diana. She was tall and beautiful, and we were the talk of the school for quite some time." Rudy rambles on and on about how deeply in love they were, and how nothing could year them apart, and how they were gonna get married right after high school, and _blah blah blah._ Rudy's story was just... so _not_ what Jerry needed that he has to interrupt him.

"Rudy! Thanks for trying, but that's _not_ helping." 

Rudy pauses, dumbfounded. "Wait, that's not what you needed? You're such a ladies' man, I figured you'd gone and fallen in love. Ah, youth." Jerry's face fell, dejected. He looked so small, so confused, that Rudy felt strongly protective of him. "What's wrong, Jerry?"

"I— it's just— I'm so frustrated! I— ugh! Why do I feel _nothing_ for the girls who I'm supposed to _love_?!" Jerry sits there, head down and hands tangled in his hair, tears welling up in his eyes. _I'm not supposed to be like this,_ he thinks. _I shouldn't be getting emotional over stupid_ girl problems, _of all things._

Rudy's heart breaks. He has an inkling as to why Jerry was feeling this way, but he's not sure that the boy is ready to hear and accept it yet. The sensei offers his advice in the best way he can:

"I think you need to take time and evaluate yourself. What specifically makes you like girls? Once you figure that out, you'll know what to do." Rudy pats Jerry on the back and gives him space to think things through.

* * *

Jerry doesn't actually get time to think things through because the next day at school, Rebecca pulls him aside and whispers, "We have to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Give a kudo or a comment (or both) if you wanna see more!
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	3. the talk(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry gets broken up with and does some soul-searching. Cue the gay panic!

_"We need to talk."_

Jerry's heart sinks and he immediately feels dread. He knew this was gonna happen, he just didn't know it was going to be this soon. Jerry truly feels that, at this point in his life, one more break-up will crush him. Each time it happens, he loses more and more of his self-esteem. He's honestly unsure if he'll be able to bounce back after this.

"—rry! Jerry! Are you listening? I said, 'meet me at the library after school.' Does that sound good?" Rebecca asks.

Jerry's throat is dry when he whispers, "Yeah."

* * *

Jerry's dejected mood must be _extremely_ obvious, because his friends spend the rest of the school day trying to cheer him up. Kim cracks jokes about Jerry's ex-girlfriends, Jack reassures him that he has a great personality, and Milton has been... more physical.

Look, it's not like Jerry has a problem with it. Physical touch is very comforting in times of need. It's especially comforting when Milton gives him a side hug or sits a little closer to Jerry than is strictly necessary. But, it's also very distracting. Whenever Milton touches him, Jerry feels so _warm_ and _floaty_ and _weird._ He want to chase that feeling; he's slowly but surely becoming addicted to it. Jerry's never experienced this emotion before, but he knows that thinking about it will only drive him further into his current existential crisis. He decides to let himself enjoy the feeling without getting to attached to its implications.

* * *

The bell had just rung, and now Jerry sits at one of the secluded tables in the library. Rebecca shows up, and Jerry begins to feel inexplicably nervous. He knows that, at the end of the day, one break-up is not going to permanently affect him. Somehow, though, this one seems different. The air between the two of them is charged not with romantic tension, but with trepidation and the knowledge that this interaction will irrevocably change them. Jerry is _so_ not ready for this.

Rebecca bites the bullet and speaks first. "We are not going to work out, romantically. Like, ever. Actually, dating you helped me find out that I was lesbian." Jerry paused, considering. She begins to ramble to try to fix her words. "Not that you were a bad boyfriend or anything, you were great! Please don't be offended, that came out way differently than I thought it would."

Jerry still sits in thought, contemplating. His ex-girlfriend nervously studies him. Finally, he speaks up, saying, "How did you know?"

"That I was gay? Well, I didn't feel any romantic or sexual attraction to you. I think I've know it about myself for a while, but I didn't really have proof. Actually, Jerry, I owe you both an apology and a thanks. I used you just to confirm my suspicions, and I truly apologize for leading you on. But also... thank you. You helped me come to terms with an important part of myself. You're a good guy, Jerry. Don't let this break-up get in your head. This is my fault, not yours."

Jerry takes a deep breath. Although he can't quite figure out why, he knows that this information will be invaluable soon. "Thank you for telling me. I... I know that this is a serious topic, and I'm honored that you trust me." Jerry looks at Rebecca, and they give each other somber smiles.

"One last hug?" Rebecca asks. Jerry obliges her.

* * *

When Jerry walks in the door, his parents immediately hound him with questions:

"Where were you?!"

"Who were you with?"

"What were you doing?"

 _Crap,_ Jerry thinks, _I forgot to let them know where I was._

"I was just at the library, with Rebecca," he answers, but then immediately regrets it because:

"You didn't tell us you got another girlfriend! How is she, _niño_?" his mother asks.

"Well, about that. I..." _am not sure if I want another girlfriend? No, wait, that's not it. I need time to think before dating again? Better, but,_ "had one and then she broke up with me." Jerry's mouth speaks before his brain can catch up. His mother's face falls in pity, but his father looks skeptical. Calculating. It's off-putting, to say the least.

Hugging him, Jerry's mother says, "It'll be okay, _mijo._ " Jerry's eyes lock with his father's, whose eyes narrow. His own eyes widen. _He knows._ Jerry quickly escapes his mom's grasp, promising to come back downstairs for dinner later. The whole way upstairs, Jerry can feel his father's gaze following him.

When Jerry gets to his room, he dramatically flops on his bed and pulls out his phone. He scrolls through his contact list, looking for Kim. He's pretty sure that she's in tune with her emotions, so she's a safe bet. After three rings, Kim picks up.

"Hey Jerry, what's up?" Jerry deeply breaths in, trying to work up his courage. He knows that there's something wrong... no, not wrong. Something _different_ about him, and he knows that Kim will be able to help him. He just needs to have enough faith to take the first step. He exhales.

"My girlfriend broke up with me, but I'm not," Jerry pauses, looking for the right words, "I'm not sad about it. At least, I don't think I am."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, it's just— I think I'm more sad because I'm not dating anybody. She specifically didn't make me happy, the idea of being in a relationship did. And I don't know what that means and to be honest I'm kinda scared because I don't know what to do about these feelings I have and—"

"—Jerry! Calm down, take a deep breath. You're gonna be okay, I promise you." Jerry does as instructed, and he immediately feels calmer, more rational than he did moments before. "Now, what is it that made you feel this way? You don't normally get this panicky after break-ups." Jerry contemplates telling Kim the whole story, but that would mean exposing Rebecca's secret. He decides to tell her an abridged version of the night's events.

"So," Kim begins, "you've realized that romantic and physical attraction are two different things, decided to evaluate yourself and your interests in the hopes it would make you a better boyfriend, and you _still_ think you're the issue here? Jerry, that's really mature of you. You have to give yourself some credit." Jerry smiles just a bit; he knew calling Kim would be a good idea. "Heck, I wish other guys would do that more often!" They share a laugh, but then things get serious again 

"It's not just about the self-esteem this time, Kim," he admits. "I've been thinking about attraction, and I realized that I know _what_ I'm attracted to, just not _who_."

"What do you mean?" Kim is almost sure she knows what Jerry is saying, but she's afraid to put words in his mouth.

"I mean I... I don't know, Kim. I really don't." Jerry becomes increasingly frustrated. It's like the answer is right there, the light at the end off the tunnel, but he just can't _reach._

Kim decides to help him out. "What makes you like girls?"

"Well, they're smart, funny, nice, stuff like that."

"Sure, but those are all adjectives that could apply to anyone, even guys. What makes you like girls _specifically_?" Jerry pauses. Try as he might, he can't name one thing that couldn't easily be applied to guys. Recognizing his silence as an answer, Kim plows on. "Have you ever felt an emotional attachment to a guy that seems just a bit stronger than friendship?" Jerry immediately thinks about Milton ( _sweet, funny, genius, helpful Milton... Stop it Jerry!_ ), but brushes the thought away. Kim continues, "Have you ever felt physically attracted to a guy?"

And, okay. _Maybe_ he has. Maybe. But hey, Jerry has eyes. He can't deny that men are hot. But that doesn't mean anything, right? He still thinks girls are pretty, so he's still normal, right?

Although, to him, girls are pretty in an appreciative sort of way. He likes looking at beautiful people. Even though women don't make him want to _touch,_ to _chase_ like men do, he's still straight. Isn't he?

Kim speaks up after a long time. "I'll leave you alone to think about it. Don't be afraid to do some soul searching, okay? You know you can always call me, and I'll support you no matter what. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye Jerry." Kim hangs up, and Jerry takes a deep breath. Tonight is gonna be a long night.


	4. the realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry's not gay, right? _Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cleaned up the ending of the previous chapter if you want to read it, but you won't miss anything if you don't read it.
> 
> Also, this chapter means a lot to me, as I hope it will to you, because it deals with the familiar struggle of coming out to yourself. I hope you guys enjoy!

_Okay,_ Jerry thinks, _let's recap._

Since entering high school, Jerry has dated many girls. He liked the personalities of all of the girls, but isn't sure if he was ever romantically attracted to them, per se. He also knows that they were all objectively pretty, but, again, he doesn't think he was ever sexually attracted to them. Jerry used to think it was because he was too immature for serious relationships, but he's beginning to think _hey, maybe I'm not straight._ Jerry decides to do a little research. He pulls out his computer, opens a private tab, and begins.

He types "am I gay" into the Google search bar. Immediately, he spams the backspace button. He's so far into the closet that even those three words are enough to make him cringe. _Alright,_ _take two._ Jerry types "signs of gayness" and impulsively closes the browser because _what kind of question was that?_ Jerry sighs. This is harder than he thought it would be.

Then, it comes to him. He remembers an organization, a name the counsellors said in passing during their school's mandatory sex ed class. Hesitantly, Jerry re-opens the private browser and types in "the trevor project." He closes his eyes and presses enter. Jerry feels foolish for being afraid, but he knows that he shouldn't feel silly. This is a big moment for him, he deserves to have a few reservations.

But, he realizes, he also deserves answers about his sexuality. He gives himself until the count of three to open his eyes.

 _One._ Jerry's hands minutely tremble, and his breaths indiscernibly quicken.

 _Two._ He takes a deep breath, willing his body to calm down. It's a computer screen, it can't hurt him. Right?

 _...three._ Jerry opens his eyes, and _oh._ Surprisingly, it's not that bad. The first search result proclaims The Trevor Project as a toll free suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. Now, Jerry is not suicidal, not by a long shot, but the fact that there are organizations dedicated solely to the mental health of queer youth, of people like him, reassures him. He hasn't even found out what he identifies with yet and he already feels at home.

Encouraged, Jerry continues his search. He looks up, "what does it mean to be gay." He clicks on the first search result available, but realizes that it's more oriented towards elementary school educators. So, not totally unhelpful, but not what he was looking for.

Jerry scrolls down until he reaches another site that looks promising. This one is called ReachOut, and seems to be more geared towards teens. In addition to describing same-sex attraction, it goes into specific sexualities underneath the term "gay." He reads on.

Jerry learns that around one in ten people identify as gay, and that it's completely natural. Of course, Jerry knew that there was nothing wrong with being gay to begin with. However, seeing it here, online, for the entire world to see, means so much more than a teacher being required to say it during a mandatory course. Jerry thinks he can understand why gay people take pride so seriously; if it means feeling accepted and understood in a world full of confusion and forced manhood, Jerry would take it seriously too.

Scrolling down further, he sees a section just about figuring out if you're gay. _Bingo._ It says that many queer people say they felt different as a child. Now, Jerry's pretty sure that he felt normal as a younger child, but now he's an older child and he _definitely_ feels different. He moves on to the next point. It says that some people report having crushes on their same-sex friends. "Have I ever had a crush on a male friend?" Jerry whispers.

 _Well, isn't that a question and a half,_ he thinks. Jerry is certain that, at least one point in his life, he's had a crush on Jack. Or at least, a minor attraction to him. Jack is hot, and Jerry realizes that. He has glorious, long hair and a sculpted body, and somehow when Jack is flushed and sweaty Jerry's mind goes not towards _wow, I wanna be like him_ but _wow, I wanna be_ with _him._

But that was all in the past. Besides, it means nothing if he didn't feel romantically attracted to Jack at any point. 

_No,_ Jerry thinks, _I'm done lying to myself._ Even though Jerry was never romantically attracted to Jack, and even though he's no longer sexually attracted to him, it doesn't mean that his experience is worthless.

But then there's Milton, and he brings up a whole host of issues. Not only is Jerry physically attracted to him, present tense, he's romantically attracted to him. Or, at least, Jerry thinks he is. He's never truly experienced love before, but he thinks this is it.

In a new tab, Jerry searches, "what does it mean to be in love." All of the results produce incredibly sappy definitions of love, but what Jerry gathers is this: people who are in love want to spend time with their significant other. They feel motivated by then to become a better person. Their loved one makes them feel euphoric. It's dizzying, overwhelming. Jerry runs through a mental checklist.

Does he constantly want to spend time with Milton? ( _Jerry thinks about all the times he's wanted to hang out with Milton instead of do homework, or chores, or even go on dates with his own girlfriends._ ) Check.

Does Milton motivate him to become a better person? ( _Milton always helps Jerry, from homework to girl problems. He always takes everything in stride and shows Jerry so much kindness. Jerry works to become deserving of that treatment, to make Milton proud._ ) Double check.

Does Milton make him feel euphoric? ( _God, even Milton's_ smile _is enough to make Jerry feel giddy. He constantly tries to make Milton laugh, just so he can see it again._ ) Triple check.

Is being with Milton dizzying and overwhelming? ( _Jerry remembers the overnight camp the summer before tenth grade, when he and Milton had to share a bed. He remembers how the physical closeness to Milton made him buzz with nervous energy. The heat between their bodies, the smell of Milton's Irish Spring soap, the feeling of Milton's gentle breath brushing against his collarbone, all of it overwhelmed him._ ) Quadruple check.

Well, Jerry seems to have found his answer. He's in love with Milton Krupnick.

 _Oh god!_ He thinks. _I'm in love with Milton Krupnick!_ It's no longer the fact that he likes another boy that unsettles him. It's the fact that he's in love with his best friend! There are so many possible outcomes of this situation, but Jerry can't see any of them ending well for their friendship.

Taking a feel breath, Jerry resolves to approach that later. Right now, he just needs to focus on defining himself. _It's recap time, again,_ he thinks.

Jerry has dated many girls since freshman year. He was not attracted to said girls. He has been attracted to guys, however. He is currently attracted to one, but he's his best friend. Tough.

Jerry's not sure what the next step is. He doesn't know if he's ready to put a label on what he feels yet. He's not sure if he wants to come out, either. He's pretty sure he needs more advice, this time from someone in the LGBTQ community. He's just about to call someone when:

"Jerry, come watch your sisters while I fix up dinner."

"Coming, mama!" Jerry sighs, closing the laptop lid. He'd ask her for advice later tonight, then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! If you or anyone you know is in the LGBTQ+ community and is looking for resources, you can always send them to:  
> The Trevor Project  
> Reach out  
> GLAAD  
> PFLAG  
> Living Out Loud  
> And many more!  
> Also, please remember that you are in no rush to come out, nor do you have to label your attraction. Your only responsibility is to treat yourself with kindness <3  
> I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, or could at least relate to it.
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	5. the talk(s) reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry's not ready to come out yet, but unfortunate circumstances may force him to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read that Jerry has seven sisters but I may have taken creative liberty. In this universe, he'll only have three younger sisters.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

Jerry heads downstairs and is greeted by his three younger sisters. His father isn't home, so he must've gone out to get groceries. Alejandra, the oldest of the three, is twelve years old. She's in seventh grade. The twins, Valeria and Valentina, are ten years old; they're in fifth grade.

 _"¡Hola Chiquitas!"_ Jerry says. He's met with a chorus of _"Hola"_ s. "How was school?" He asks them. They immediately launch into various anecdotes about elementary and middle school. Jerry's mama gives him a small kiss on the cheek, then heads to the kitchen to begin preparing dinner.

About ten minutes later, Jerry's papa returns with bags full of produce. He places them down in the kitchen and returns to the living room. He then picks up and spins each of his daughters around and plants exaggerated kisses on their cheeks. Mama exasperatedly shakes her head. "Don't spoil them, they're already spoiled enough." Papa chuckles. He gives Jerry a big hug and pats him on the shoulder.

Then, his papa goes into the kitchen. He dips Mama and kisses her on the lips. The sisters all exclaim, "Ew!" at the same time. The parents laugh. Jerry thinks it's sweet how domestic and loving they are, after all these years. Papa helps Mama finish dinner while Jerry, with the help of his sisters, sets the table.

At dinner time, they all hold hands while Papa prays. Jerry's heart _pangs_ with guilt. How is he supposed to come out to his family? He knows that Catholicism and queerness don't mix. How could he possibly tell them the truth and ruin their family dynamic? That'd be selfish of him.

Then again, he knows his parents are kind people. They may not understand his struggle, but Jerry believes that they love him enough to learn about and try to accept his sexuality.

 _Besides,_ Jerry thinks, _it's not time to tell them, anyways._ He hasn't decided if he wants a label or not. Even if he does know what he'd be if he hypothetically labelled himself, he's not ready to say it out loud yet. He owes it to his family to tell them the complete truth. To do that, he'll need to tell the complete truth to himself first.

After shaking his head to get out of his thoughts, Jerry tunes back in to the conversation. Mama is telling the story about how she went out with Papa. It's a story they've heard numerous times, but the pure romance of the tale keeps it from getting old.

"So your papa came up to me during lunch, with the audience of the entire cafeteria watching, and asked, 'Will you go out with me?' I, of course said no."

" _What?_ Mama, why would you reject him?" Alejandra asks. She's asked this question every time, and like a practiced ritual Mama responds.

"Never settle for a man who doesn't give his all. He asked me to go out with him but it wasn't romantic in the least bit. I knew my worth so I demanded to be treated better."

Papa chimes in, "If a man asks you out, it better be the most romantic thing he's ever done. Otherwise, you say no. _¿Comprende_ _?"_

 _"Comprende,"_ the sisters respond.

"So Papa asked me out over and over again, and every time I said no. He was beginning to get frustrated, I could tell, so I gave him a piece of advice. I said, 'Be romantic, and then maybe I'll say yes.' The next day at school, I saw a little note in my locker. It said 'Room 117, north window." I went to that classroom and looked out the window and saw 'Will you go out with me?' written in rose petals. Standing in the middle of it all, with a tuxedo and slicked back hair, was your Papa. He had the biggest smile on his face, like he knew he'd won. And he did. I said yes. And now, we're, well, married."

The twins _aww_ as if they haven't heard the story before. Jerry smiles because it's clear to see that their love hasn't faded since that day, it's only grown stronger. He longs to have that with someone, someday.

The family finishes dinner and Jerry helps his Papa clean the dishes. They work in silence, the only sounds being the soft _crunch_ of warm soapy bubbles and the light _squeak_ of a sponge on a plate. Papa pauses, takes a deep breath, and says, apropos of nothing, "You know I love you, right, _niño?_ "

Jerry, of course, is confused. He hopes Papa's statement doesn't have to do with his realization from earlier night, but he has the slightest inkling that it does. He decides to play it cool and says, "Of course I do, Papa." He keeps his head down to avoid his father's expectant gaze. What he misses, though, is the look of concern that flashes on Papa's face.

His papa gives him a sturdy pat on the back. "Just making sure. You can go upstairs if you'd like. I'll take over the dish washing." Jerry thanks him and heads upstairs.

Once on his bed, Jerry pulls out his phone and calls Rebecca. She picks up after three rings.

"Hey Jerry, what's up?" Rebecca greets.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee sometime," Jerry says, and _oh, wait, that sounds like a date_.

Clearly, Rebecca has the same idea. She pauses before dryly responding, "Uh... I don't think that's a good idea. You _do_ remember that I'm gay, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jerry responds, and they share a laugh. "Seriously though, I called because I think I understand what you meant about discovering yourself. I... I think I'm ready to talk about it, but I figured I should tell you, because you're, you know..." Jerry trails off.

"Gay? You know, you can say gay, Jerry. It's not a bad word."

"I know," he says, and he means it. He's not quite ready for the implications of the term. Rebecca seems to understand that too, because she doesn't prod.

"Yes, by the way. We can meet at Starbucks after your practice. You _are_ heading to the dojo after school, right?" Jerry smiles, touched that she still remembers that about him.

"Yeah, sounds good. See you then!" The two say their goodbyes and hang up.

* * *

The next morning, before school starts, Jerry's mama is looking for the family laptop when she realizes that her husband probably took it to work with him. She asks Jerry if she can use it. Jerry unthinkingly says yes, but by the time she has the laptop it's too late to retract his statement.

Mama opens the lid and her eyes widen. _Crap,_ Jerry thinks, _I didn't close the tabs!_ In his haste to get downstairs and watch his sisters, he forgot to completely shut down the computer, instead putting it in sleep mode. His mama covers her mouth in disbelief. Before she can say anything, Jerry impulsively grabs his backpack and keys, and runs outside.

Once in his car, his breathing becomes shallow and his hands tangle in his hair. Forget his parents' assumptions, now they'll _know_ there's something wrong with him.

 _Breathe._ There's nothing wrong with him, Jerry knows it. His mama and papa love him, he knows that too. At the end of the day, everything will be okay. He firmly believes it.

He takes a deep breath in and slowly lets it out. He's not ready to face the music, but he will be by the time he gets home. He'll make sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter, and for being patient with me between updates. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	6. the meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rebecca and Jerry discuss plans to make a GSA at Seaford High.

Jerry walks through the school doors, heading for his locker. After pulling out his textbooks for homeroom, he sits on the bottom of the staircase, waiting for the rest of his friends.

Milton is the first to show up. He strolls to his locker to grab his books, then makes his way over to Jerry. Milton plops down right next to him, so close their shoulders are almost touching.

"Hey Jerry, what's up?" Milton asks, giving him a friendly smile.

"Nothing much. You?" As Milton launches into a story about a new robot he's helping to build, Jerry spaces out.

 _He has so many freckles,_ he thinks. Jerry wants to trace all of them. And his _eyes._ They're so clear, so expressive, Jerry wonders what it's like to see adoration reflected in them. But his _smile._ It's so sweet and kind and warm and it gives Jerry all sorts of _feelings—_

"Jerry! Are you even listening?" Milton's question breaks his train of thought.

"What? Yeah, of course I'm listening. You were just talking about robots." Milton shakes his head in light-hearted exasperation.

"Actually, I was saying that I wasn't sure if I'm gonna get into the summer program that MIT is hosting."

"Of course you will! Dude, you're too smart _not_ to. You were literally made for MIT. Anyone would be crazy to turn you down!" Okay, that last part was a bit much. He hopes Milton still gets the message.

Milton send Jerry a grateful smile, shoulders and forehead relaxing. "Thanks, Jerry, I really needed that." He scoots infinitesimally closer, and Jerry's heart races. They meet eyes, and _oh, that's what adoration looks like._

Milton's eyes flicker downwards, towards Jerry's lips. Jerry subconsciously mimics him. He feels a light weight on his fingertips. Looking down he sees that Milton's hand is just barely touching his. He looks back up.

Milton's eyes are filled with anticipation, with hope, and Jerry knows they're on the same page. As Jerry slowly leans in, Milton gently places his other hand on Jerry's cheek, almost guiding him. Their foreheads are nearly touching, breaths almost mingling, when:

"Hey guys!" Jack's boisterous voice announces. The two boys rapidly separate, turning wide eyes towards Jack. _I hope he didn't see that._ Jack, as oblivious as ever, sits between Jerry and Milton. Kim, who was trailing slightly behind Jack, gives them an apologetic smile.

Jack begins talking about some new video game that Jerry should be interested in, but he's preoccupied with the thought of Milton's lips. He was in deep.

* * *

Jerry's distraction lasts throughout the whole day. By the time school ends, he's ready to clear his head at the dojo.

Rudy begins the class by having them do group warm-ups. Then, it's Jerry's favorite part: dummy practice.

Choosing his favorite dummy, Jerry makes his way over to the back left corner of the mat. Today, he works on his roundhouse and hook kicks. He subconsciously registers Rudy's voice in the background and loses himself in the repetitive motions. _It's nice,_ he thinks, _to relax like this._

After finishing his kicks and sparring a couple rounds, practice is over. He showers and changes in the locker room, then heads back out to the main room.

While he was rummaging in his locker, Milton walks up to him. "Hey, Jerry," he starts, "I know you've already seen the new Star Wars movie, but I was wondering if you'd like to see it with me." Jerry's first instinct is to say yes. _But wait, is it a date?_ He doesn't want to ask, though, because it would be incredibly awkward if the answer is no. Then again, even if it's not a date, Milton is still a cool person to hang out with. So yeah, he's pretty sure he wants to see the movie with him.

Suddenly, his phone rings. The screen is brightly lit, with Rebecca's contact photo displayed. Both boys' faces fall.

"Oh. I... didn't know you were still with her."

"No, I'm not, it's not like that!"

"Jerry, it's okay if you still like her."

"But I don't! I'm—" _gay. I'm gay and I'm deeply and irrevocably in love with you!_ Try as he might, Jerry can't force the words to come out. Milton gives him a rueful smile.

"It's okay. Have fun with your girlfriend." Milton walks out.

Jerry suddenly remembers his words from earlier in the day: _Anyone would be crazy to turn you down._

_Shit._

* * *

Jerry meets Rebecca at the Starbucks closest to the dojo. Sensing his mood, Rebecca asks, "What's wrong?"

"I think I fucked up," Jerry says, blankly staring out the window. Rebecca gives him time to pull his thoughts together. After a prolonged pause, he begins to tell her everything. First, he talks about the talk with Kim, the internet searches. Then, about his papa suddenly giving Jerry support and his mama finding his tabs that were left open. Finally, he tells her about Milton, and how he had to decline the movie invitation. The whole time, Rebecca's face shows sympathy and understanding. It makes Jerry feel supported, knowing that someone like him understands his struggles.

After his story is done, there is a short pause. Rebecca teases, "Yeah, you might've fucked up a little. But that's okay, because I have a way for you to come out. See, I've been thinking: Seaford High doesn't have a GSA. Of course, not every school has one, but I'd be nice." Jerry nods. "So, I'm going to create one. I'd be honored if you'd be co-president with me."

Jerry considers this. One the one hand, being co-president of the GSA would be a pretty strong indicator that he's gay. He wouldn't need to worry about coming out to everyone individually if he could do it in one fell swoop. Also, it could encourage other kids to come out, too.

But, then again, Jerry's not sure if he's even ready to come out to the entire school. He wants to come out to his family and friends, first.

Of course, the two conditions aren't mutually exclusive. He could come out to those closest to him, and then help run the GSA. Jerry likes that idea.

"Yeah, I'll be co-president with you," he says. Rebecca smiles. 

"Awesome! Let's start planning."

By the end of their discussion, the two have decided to first get their club officially sponsored by the school counselors. They've decided to advertise the GSA at the next club rush, and have the first official meeting the Wednesday after. It's a pretty solid plan, and both teens leave Starbucks optimistic about the future of their club.

Jerry drives home. He parks his car on the driveway, staring at the front door. _There's one last thing to do,_ he thinks. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversation he's about to have.

Jerry walks inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gay-lesbian solidarity really jumped out this chapter.
> 
> If you enjoyed, please drop a comment down below. Also, if you want to cry about the new Star Wars movie, hmu!
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	7. the confession(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry comes out to his family. Then again, to his friends. Then again, to the whole school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo I'm pretty tired, so this hasn't been edited (yet). Feel free to point out any mistakes!
> 
> A/N (1/1/20): It has been edited!

Upon entering his home, Jerry notices three things: one, his sisters are nowhere to be seen, so they're most likely upstairs; two, his parents are sitting on the couch with contemplative expressions on their faces; three: Jerry's mama is holding his computer in her lap. His parents are expectantly starting at him while he's pensively staring back, trying to read the emotions on their faces.

 _Mama_ finally breaks the silence with, "Come have a seat, _mijo._ " She pats the vacant part of the couch in between her and _papa._ Jerry hesitantly sits but averts his eyes from the computer screen. His actions are not lost on either parent.

 _Papa_ places his left hand on Jerry's right shoulder and gives him a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, _niño_ , we're not mad at you."

All of a sudden, Jerry is overcome with emotion. There's a twinge in the back of his eyes and a lump in his throat. He tries not to cry, but tears fall anyways. "But why?" he asks through tears. "I— I thought we were a religious family. Shouldn't you hate me?"

"Oh, Jerry," his mama says, "we may be religious, but that doesn't mean we can't love you. We just want you to be happy, _mi corazon._ "

"She's right, Jerry," his papa adds. "We were raised to be Catholic, but we were also raised to unconditionally love our children. I can't say I completely understand what you're going through, but I can promise that I will work hard to accept you. _¿Vale?_ " 

Jerry gives him a watery smile and says, " _Sí, papa._ " After a beat, he adds, "But I haven't even properly said it yet. I owe you guys that much, at least."

 _Mama_ gives Jerry a tight side hug. "It's okay, _nene._ You can come out on your own terms. We just wanted you to know that we still love you, and that we're trying to understand."

"But I _want_ to say it." His parents are silent, allowing his to gather his courage. He takes a deep breath in. _It's two words, Martinez. Two words and it's done. You can do it._ He breathes out. "I'm gay."

 _Holy shit, I said it!_ Jerry grins widely. He never thought that saying it would be like this. He feels free, like he can finally be himself. His parents hug him, his mama showering his cheek with kisses and his papa saying, "I'm proud of you." Jerry feels absurdly embarrassed, even though there's no one else watching.

" _Mama,_ stop it!" Reluctantly, his parents let his go.

"What does gay mean?" A tiny voice asks. All three years turn towards the staircase, where Valerie, Valentina, and Alejandra stand.

"Come down here, _niñas,_ " _Mama_ says. 

Once the girls are downstairs, Jerry explains. "Gay is when you only like people of the same gender. You might hear it as an insult at school, but really, it's just a way that people express their love."

"But what about all the girls you liked?" Alejandra asks.

"I think... I think I liked the _idea_ of being in a relationship more than having a girlfriend," Jerry responds.

"So does that mean there's a boy you like?" This question prompts both of his parents to look at him expectantly. His papa's eyebrow is raised (he can practically hear him giving Milton the shovel talk) and _Mama_ gives him a supportive smile. Jerry is so embarrassed it feels like his face is on fire.

"Nope. Absolutely not. I'm not doing this right now." Jerry moves to get up but his sisters block his exit.

"Is he tall?"

"Is he gay, too?"

"Do we know him?"

"Who's gonna pay on dates?"

Jerry reluctantly answers, "Yes, I don't know, yes, and me, probably." Jerry can feel his papa's approving smile at the last answer. "Can I go to sleep now? This is all pretty tiring."

His sisters back away from him, giving him room to go upstairs. Before heading to his bedroom, he gives his parents kisses on the cheeks. His sisters line up in front of him and he rolls his eyes exasperatedly. Bending down to their level, he gives each of them a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight, everyone!"

Once upstairs, Jerry can help but giddily laugh.

_I did it! I came out!_

* * *

Riding off last night's high, Jerry decides to come out to his friends after karate practice. He's planned a whole speech and everything. Impatiently, he rushes through warm ups, only to promptly get his ass beaten by Jack during sparring.

Jack offers Jerry his hand after a solid blow to the stomach sent him to the mat.

"What's up, man? You're not usually _this_ distracted," Jack asks. Jerry is mildly insulted that Jack thinks he's always somewhat distracted, but he's too excited to be truly angry.

"Okay, first of all, I am the picture of focus." Jack snorts. "Second of all, I have a very important announcement to make." His statement draws the attention of everyone else in the dojo.

Jerry takes a deep breath, but he freezes at the last moment. _Oh God, what if they hate me. Then again, they've been nothing but supportive in the past._ Jerry steels himself and says, "I'm gay." _Well, there goes the speech. At least no one here is openly homophobic._

Kim is the first one to respond. "That's so awesome! Thanks for telling us."

"Yeah man, that was super brave of you," Jack adds.

"I'm proud of you Jerry," Rudy says. Jerry looks expectantly towards Milton.

Milton's eyes are wide and he's completely frozen, cheeks steadily turning redder and redder by the moment. "Nice," is all he's able to mutter. A small part of Jerry is disappointed that Milton didn't have a bigger reaction, but he's mostly just happy that everyone seems accepting of him.

"Wait, hold on a second," Jack says. "If you found out that you're gay, that's means that you have a crush on someone." He and Kim give Jerry scheming smiles.

"Spill!" Kim demands. Jerry can't believe he's going through this again. _Chismosos,_ all of them.

"Fine, but this is all you're getting. He's tall, handsome, and funny." Kim, Jack, and Rudy immediately deliberate; Jerry swears he can see them making a bet. Milton, on the other hand, looks strangely dejected. Jerry asks, "What's wrong, Milty?"

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry." Milton tries (and fails) to give Jerry a reassuring smile. "I'm happy for you, truly."

The words remind him of the time he asked Rebecca out on a date. _Well,_ he thinks, _Milton has said this whenever I mention that there's someone that I like. Does that mean he's... jealous? No, that's not possible, he would've told me if he liked me. Then again, I like him and haven't told him. Jesus, this is hard._

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he offers.

This time, Milton gives him a true smile. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Jerry. You're a true friend." Jerry's heart twinges at the word _friend_ but he doesn't let it bother him.

_Two down, one to go._

* * *

The following Monday is Club Rush. Fifteen minutes before lunch begins, he and Rebecca meet in the gym. Jerry brings a fold out table and two chairs from the storage closet while Rebecca puts the finishing touches on their poster.

"So, how's it look?" she asks. The poster has the letters GSA written in bold, rainbow letters. The poster shimmers with multicolored glitter. The whole thing screams _pride_ ; it's perfect. Jerry tells her such.

Jerry's artistic contribution is in the various flags he'd recently bought. He lines the table with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, non-binary, and asexual flags. He thinks it adds the perfect touch to their table. Hopefully, everyone will feel included.

The lunch bell rings and students trickle into the auditorium. Jerry opens the group chat and sends _come to club rush._

Grace is the first person to approach the table. She reads the note card on the table before asking, "Does this mean you guys are, like, _gay?_ "

Rebecca is quick to answer. "Yes, yes it does. Is that an issue?" Jerry is momentarily blown away by her confidence, but he realizes that if he's gonna run a GSA, he's gonna need to be confident, too.

Grace reassures them by saying, "No, it's not an issue. I was just curious. What's the whole point of this, anyways?"

Jerry answers this time. "Well, the whole point of a GSA is to support queer students, whether it's giving them the confidence to come out or just being an ear to listen to their rants. You don't have to be queer to sign up, either. Straight allies are always welcome." Considering the fact that he completely pulled that speech out of his ass, Jerry thinks he did a pretty good job of winning her over.

"That's... actually pretty cool. I think I'll sign up."

"Nice! The first meeting is gonna be next Wednesday during lunch. We'll be hanging out in the student lounge, and the counselors are gonna order some pizza. Bring some friends, too!" Rebecca says.

"Maybe I will." Grace gives them both sincere smiles before walking to the next table.

The rest of lunch passes very similarly. Jerry is pleasantly surprised by how many people actually listen to them, and is even more surprised by how many people sign up. Only a few snide comments were made, but those were to be expected. Jerry brushes it off.

Towards the end of lunch, Jerry spots his friends at the cafeteria entrance. He waves them over and they walk to his booth.

"I didn't know you had a club," Kim comments.

Jerry proudly says, "I do now." He gestures to the poster and watches as his friends' eyes widen in realization.

"Jerry, that's so awesome! You're really brave," Milton exclaims. As an afterthought, he adds, "You too, Rebecca. So, how did you decide to create this club?"

As Rebecca tells the story about their failed relationship, he sees Milton's face relax a bit. _Huh,_ he thinks, _maybe he really_ was _jealous._

After she's done talking, Jerry asks, "Wanna sign up?" His friends immediately agree and add their name to the list.

By the end of lunch, Jerry has successfully come out to pretty much everyone at Seaford High. As he and Rebecca pack up their stuff, she asks, "So, when are you gonna ask Milton out?"

Jerry blushes.


	8. the kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry and Milton play video games and make out. What's not to love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the previous chapter if you'd like to read it, but none of the changes affect the story overall. Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

Once school ends, Jerry helps Jessica plan for the first official GSA meeting. They've decided to start by handing everyone blank name tags, where they can put their name, gender and preferred pronouns, and sexuality. Then, of course, they can hand out the pizza, and maybe do a few ice breakers while eating. It's not much planned, and the two want to do more for their first meeting, but Jerry is still incredibly excited about it.

As for Jessica's comment at the end of Club Rush, Jerry's not too excited. There's an incredible amount of pressure only him. First of all, he doesn't even know if Milton likes guys. Secondly, how can he be sure that if, hypothetically speaking, Milton likes guys, he'd like Jerry? Of course, their almost-kiss on the stairwell could easily negate these two points, but what if Jerry was imagining it? But... what if he wasn't? What if Milton, by some coincidence, happened to like a boy, and that boy happened to be Jerry? Who asks out whom? If Jerry does the asking, he's gonna have to go above and beyond to impress his father. (Somewhere in the back of his mind, Jerry recognizes that the only personaje needs to impress is Milton. But, his father didn't raise him to be chivalrous for nothing.) If Milton does the asking, then Jerry will have to wait until he's ready. But that's assuming that he's even gay in the first place, which is what led to this whole mess.

_Ugh, boys!_

Jerry loudly sighs. "You okay?" Rebecca asks.

"Yeah, just thinking," Jerry answers.

Rebecca snorts. "Don't think too hard."

" _Ha ha very funny._ But seriously, I gotta head to the dojo. See you tomorrow?"

"See ya!" Jerry grabs his backpack and heads to the mall.

* * *

After a longer than usual practice, Jerry takes a quick shower in the locker room, then heads to his locker. Milton waits nearby. _Talk about deja vu,_ Jerry thinks. _I won't mess it up_ this _time._

"Hey, Jerry, I was wondering if you could give me a ride home? My parents won't be home until later, and I didn't drive myself to school today so I don't have my car."

"Of course, dude." Jerry pauses. Then, "Actually, do you just wanna come over to my place? We can play video games, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if you stayed for dinner. Besides, it's been too long since you've seen my sisters."

"That's really kind and all, but I don't want to intrude on family time."

"Milton, you _are_ family, and you're always welcome at our place." 

Milton appears to consider this. "Thank you, Jerry. I'd love to come over, if that's okay. Let me just text my mom."

Once the two boys have gathered their belongings and texted their parents, they head to Jerry's car. Everything goes surprisingly well, for a while. The sun is shining, the window is down, and the radio is blasting pop music. It's basically the Californian teenage dream. Then, Milton places a hand on Jerry's thigh, probably to emphasize whatever point he's making, and Jerry's mind completely blanks out. Luckily, they're at a red light, which gives Jerry a few seconds to reboot.

 _Holy shit, holy crap, oh my God. I'm not ready._ Honestly, Milton's hand isn't even in an inherently sexual area, but Jerry still freaks out because it's so soft, and warm, and fragile, and _I wonder what that hand would feel like in mine_. After his mild _is Milton gay or not_ ™ debacle, Jerry's beginning to think that Milton may be the former.

The light turns green. Jerry subconsciously notices this, and he begins to drive. The whole time, his thoughts jump between _Does this mean he likes me? and_ _You're reading too much into this._ By this point, Jerry's cheeks are on fire. He'd be surprised if Milton hasn't noticed yet.

He must not have, though, because he continues taking. If he has noticed, he hasn't brought attention to it. Jerry's not sure which is better. Milton continues talking, Jerry adding commentary in a strained voice every now and then. Eventually, they arrive at the Martinez home. Milton moves to get out of the car, and Jerry momentarily mourns the loss of Milton's hand on his thigh. He takes a deep breath and leaves the car, locking the doors behind him. He walks up to the front porch, unlocks the door, and holds it open for Milton.

"What a gentleman," Milton remarks. Jerry's ninety percent sure he was joking, but the compliment warms his heart anyways.

Before Jerry can even announce that he's home, his sister's come barreling down the stairs, yelling, "Milton! You're back!"

"Nice to see you too, _hermanas_." Jerry sasses. Milton snorts, but no one else acknowledges his comment.

"Ah, Milton, it's good to see you! Jerry talks about you a lot," his mama greets.

 _"Ma,_ stop," Jerry responds. 

_Papa_ asks, "Are beef empanadas okay for dinner?" _Okay, good, we're in safe territory._ "Jerry said they're your favorite." _Annnnd he's back to looking like he's obsessed with Milton, which he's absolutely_ not _, okay?_

"Jerry also says that you like that new Star Wars video game," Valentina adds.

"Nobody asked," Jerry responds, blush steadily getting redder.

"Wait a minute," Valeria says, drawing everyone's attention to her. "We know him."

" _And_ he's tall," Alejandra adds.

" _And_ you talk about him _a lot,_ " _Mama_ adds. Everyone but Jerry shares a conspiratorial look. He does not like the direction this is going.

"Nope, we are not doing this. Come on Milton, let's head upstairs." Jerry grabs Milton's hand, but then realizes that it will only incriminate him further. Oh well, he's come this far.

On the way upstairs, Jerry hears _Papa_ yell, "Leave the door open." He pretends like he didn't hear it. 

Finally, the two have some peace and quiet (and privacy!). Jerry apologizes for his family's rambunctiousness.

"Don't apologize, I love your family." _That's good,_ he thinks. _It'll be nice to have a boyfriend that already likes my family._

 _Wait, boyfriend?_ Jerry shakes his head to clear his thoughts. "Do you want to play Fallen Order?"

"Actually, I was thinking we could play Mario Kart. I haven't beaten you in a while."

Jerry smirks. "Oh, it is _so_ on." The two boys play a 150cc Grand Prix, lightly ribbing at one another every now and then. They play all four races in the GP, Milton claiming first place on every one. 

"I want a rematch!" Jerry declares. They play again, and Milton wins every round, again. "Okay, you have to show me how you keep doing that."

"Well, it's actually pretty simple." As Milton goes off on a tangent about precise timing and the physics of drifting, Jerry zones out. Subconsciously, he realizes that he's staring at Milton's eyes. Then, his gaze drops down to his lips. Jerry minutely leans forward.

Milton notices. He begins to trail off, eyes flicking between Jerry's lips and eyes. He leans in too and wow, okay they're really gonna do this. Jerry is not freaking out, not at all.

Jerry's moves a hand to Milton's cheek, gently tilting his head. Jerry moves his head the opposite direction and his eyes flutter shut.

Soft and hesitant, their lips meet in the middle. Milton's lips are warm and plush, and Jerry can taste the faint, lingering cherry lip balm that he likes to use. His movements are a little clumsy, and a little too soft. It's _perfect._

Jerry has never felt like this before. It feels like this kiss is fundamentally _right._ He knew he was gay, but something about this kiss really solidifies the fact. He could probably live like this, just kissing Milton all day long, and he'd never tire of it. He shifts his grip a bit, moving his hand to the back of Milton's neck to bring him infinitessimally closer. The angle changes and everything _clicks._

With the new angle, Jerry discovers that Milton is a surprisingly good kisser. He quickly took on a more assertive role, not that Jerry's complaining. Milton's hand gently tilts Jerry's head upward, gently stroking his jaw with his thumb. It's so soft it almost _hurts._ Jerry's pretty sure he's in love.

Unbeknownst to them, Jerry's mama heads upstairs. Seeing the closed door, she gently knocks before opening the door.

"Jerry, Milton, dinner's— _oh!_ "

Jerry and Milton separate immediately, with the former avoiding eye contact and the latter blushing as red as a fire truck. All _Mama_ can do is sigh. 

_"Jerry,"_ she chastises, "I thought I said to keep the door open. It's a good thing you're already out, or we'd be having a _very_ different conversation." Turning to Milton, she says, "You can head downstairs, _niño_. Jerry, you stay." Milton does as told.

 _Mama_ takes a seat on his bed. " _Corazon,_ do you know why we asked you to keep the door open?" Jerry shakes his head. "It's because we want you to stay safe. We want to properly meet Milton, as your boyfriend, and make sure he's right for you. Your papa and I both know that you are a good kid and will make good decisions, but as parents it's our job to protect you. That includes protecting you from experiences that you're not ready for. ¿ _Vale?_ "

"Yeah, I get it. And thanks, _Mama._ I appreciate it." His mama gives him a big hug.

"Besides," she adds, "we haven't had the safe sex talk."

_"Mama!"_

She laughs, and the two of them head downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dare you to tell me the Merry doesn't give off Stucky vibes.
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr.


	9. the family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry's pretty sure he's in love, for whatever that means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: use of f-slur

After their quick talk, Jerry and _Mama_ head downstairs to join the rest of the family at the dinner table. They're greeted with the sight of the three sisters excitedly rambling to Milton, who every now and then laughs at one of their jokes. _Papa_ is setting down the last plates when he spots the two coming downstairs. _Mama_ takes her seat next to _Papa_ and Jerry sits next to Milton.

"The _empanadas_ smell wonderful, Mrs. Martinez!" Milton comments. Were it anyone else, Jerry would've assumed he was just sucking up to her; Milton, though is an incredibly sincere and kind person. It warms Jerry's heart to see that Milton already fits in so well with the family.

Jerry's mama feels the same way. " _Eres muy amable_ , Milton."

"It means, 'You're too kind,'" Jerry translates.

"I know, I've been taking Spanish for six years now," Milton deadpans. The sisters stifle their giggles as Jerry glares at them. He is _not_ embarrassed, not at all.

After the table gets silent, Jerry's papa says, "It's time to pray." Everyone takes the hands of those around them, and _Papa_ prays grace. After the final _amen_ is said, everyone digs in. The conversation at the table changes rapidly, filled laughter and anecdotes and _love_. Jerry feels light and giddy. For so long, he's wanted this: to bring home Milton as a potential boyfriend, to be able to hold his hand under the table, to openly stare at him with adoration, to have his parents' approval. It feels like everything in Jerry's life has aligned just for this moment, so that he could claim this opportunity to be exactly who he wants to be. He's almost lightheaded by how completely and irrevocably in love he feels with Milton. And sure, Jerry realizes that teenagers aren't always serious about love. And yeah, it's true that not all high school relationships last. But this? This moment, these feelings? Jerry is almost positive that they'll never go away. He can see the same thoughts reflected in Milton's eyes. When he sees this, Jerry realizes that he will do anything to keep those stars in Milton's eyes.

Dinner ends without much fanfare. Soft giggles slowly wane as _Papa_ moves to collect all the empty plates. He leaves them by the sink for Jerry to clean later. Milton's phone vibrates, screen lighting up with a text message notification. "Oh, my parents must be home." Jerry doesn't miss the disappointed inflection in his voice.

"Need a ride home?" Jerry offers.

"Yeah, thank you." Milton heads upstairs to grab his stuff. Downstairs, Jerry's sisters tauntingly sing, "Jerry and Milton kissing in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Jerry shushes them, to no avail. Milton comes back down to hear, "-Then comes babies sitting in a carriage!" Milton tilts his head confusedly and Jerry gives him a lopsided smile.

"Ready to head home?" Jerry asks.

"Yeah, but let me say goodbye to your family first." Milton gives _Mama_ a quick hug, _Papa_ a firm handshake, and ruffles each of the sisters' hair. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Martinez."

"Anytime, Milton," _Papa_ says.

"You're always welcome," Jerry's mama adds. After a chorus of "bye"s from the girls, Jerry and Milton leave the house. Noting that it's nearly dark outside, Jerry makes sure to get Milton home soon. 

Conversation flows easily between the two of them on their way to the Krupnick household, though neither of them speak about the kiss. Jerry, at least, doesn't feel the need to say anything. It's been established that they both like each other, so it's only a matter of time before one asks the other out. For now, though, he's more than happy to just have Milton as a friend he can always rely on.

Finally, the boys make it to Milton's house. Jerry walks Milton to the door. Before he unlocks it, Milton grasps his hands. Jerry's eyes flit towards Milton's.

Thanks for inviting me over tonight. I had fun." Milton says with a smile.

"Anytime," Jerry responds. He leans in slightly and pecks Milton on the cheek, which causes both of them to blush. It's sickeningly sweet and incredibly cliche, but Jerry likes it anyways. The two share a smile before Milton pulls out his keys.

"Goodnight, Jerry."

"'night, Milty."

Jerry drives home with a stupidly giddy smile on his face.

Back home, he joins his mama and papa in the kitchen to help wash and dry dishes. The three work in a comfortable silence. As Jerry puts the last plate in the cupboard, _Papa_ places a firm hand on his shoulder.

"You picked a good kid, _mijo._ "

"Thanks, _Papa_." Jerry may or may not be getting a bit emotional.

* * *

Riding off last night's high, Jerry confidently struts into Seaford High's main hallway, only to see his friends standing around his locker. 

"Hey guys, what's up?" Jerry asks. He notes that none of his friends make direct eye contact, all choosing to look away from him. As he tries to step closer to his locker, his friends also step closer, which is weird. Jerry doesn't think much of it, though. "Guys, I need to get my books," he confusedly says.

"Wait, Jerry, before you do," Kim interjects.

"There's... someone wrote..." Milton continues, but trails off towards the end.

Jerry's pretty suspicious now. "Someone wrote what?"

Jack sighs. "Just look." The three of them step away making room for Jerry to see the front of his locker. The word "FAG" is written in bold black Sharpie. 

Jerry's heart sinks. Realistically, he knows that not everyone is accepting, especially not in high school, and while he thought he was prepared for some sort of backlash, he quickly realizes that he wasn't.

 _It's not even like it matters that much_ , Jerry rationalizes. _It's just two more years of high school and then I won't have to worry about immature teens. Besides, I'm not even being bullied, not really. It's just a word. A stupid fucking word._

Even though Jerry knows these things to be true, it still hurts to see it, to know that school may not be a safe place for him.

But... isn't the whole point of the GSA? To make school a safe place for queer kids? Jerry supposes that if the club is going to live up to its name, then it needs to start with education. _Maybe,_ he thinks, _teaching people that there's no shame in people being queer can stop things like this from happening._

A gentle hand on his shoulder interrupts his chain of thought. "Jerry?" Milton asks. "Are you okay?"

Jerry can't deny that it hurts, that the word certainly dampened his mood. But, he also realizes that he has the power to prevent things like this from happening again by taking a stand and educating biased people.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright," he replies, and he truly means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all liked this chapter! I know it's been a while since I last updated, so thank you for your patience. Also, thanks for all the kind comments you guys leave. They always make my day ^__^


	10. the principal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry faces a threat from another student, and unexpected allies support him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: usage of the f-slur, death threat

The graffiti on Jerry's locker is surprisingly easy to take care of. After taking a few pictures to send to the school counselors, the group gets rid of the offensive Sharpie with the rubbing alcohol and cotton balls from Milton's first aid kit. Jerry's not too worried about the situation. If someone really wanted to bully him, they probably would've done more than write the word _fag_ on his locker. He resolves to show the counselors, and maybe even the Principal, the pictures after school rather than start his morning with an awkward talk about bullying and homophobia. The bell rings; everyone head to their classes.

Come lunchtime and Jerry's nearly forgotten about the incident. He's laughing as Jack and Kim share a story about the squirrel that took their food on their latest picnic date, he's (not so) subtly holding Milton's pinkie under the table, and he's absolutely not eating Marge's "meatloaf." Occasionally, people give him curious looks, but for the most part, everyone minds their business. All in all, things are feeling pretty normal again. That is, until he goes to his last class.

Principal Funderburk stands at the front of the class with a stern expression. Class hasn't officially started yet, so very few kids are actually there. Most students are still making their way to class from the cafeteria. As Jerry enters the classroom, the Principal's eyes minutely widen. Jerry misses that, however, because he's too busy staring at his desk. Or, well, the space where the desk used to be. Confusedly, Jerry turns his gaze to Funderburk, who jerks his head towards the door. The Principal walks out of the classroom and Jerry obediently follows. There is complete silence as they walk the familiar route to the Principal's office. Jerry's too puzzled to say anything. Judging based off of Funderburk's tense jaw, Jerry assumes that the Principal is too mad to speak. Mad at whom, Jerry's not sure.

Funderburk opens the door and gestures for Jerry to sit. He takes a deep breath, relaxes his jaw, and says, "Jerry, how long have you been getting bullied?"

Well now Jerry's even more confused. "Bullied? No, I'm not being bullied." _Maybe writing_ fag _on my locker is rude, but it's not bullying,_ Jerry thinks.

Principal Funderburk sighs. "Jerry, before lunch ended, Milton's friend Sidney came into my office and brought me to your classroom. He showed me that someone destroyed your desk, and on the surface, someone wrote... well, I'll just show you." Funderburk reaches under his table and grabs Jerry's former desk. In the same handwriting from his locker, someone wrote _DIE, FAG!_

Jerry was fine when it was just the word on his locker. Yes, it was a slur and yes, it was obviously intended to make him feel bad, but Jerry genuinely didn't care that much. But this? This is something different. At best, it's just someone trying to make him feel threatened; at worst... this could be an actual death threat. Jerry suddenly realizes that he may not be safe at school anymore, and it's a terrifying thought. To think that someone out there truly hates Jerry enough to write something like that... Jerry shudders. _What if it comes to physical violence?_ he thinks. _What if I have to move schools? Oh God, what if this person knows where I live._ Jerry can already feel his thought spiraling, ruminating on so many possible futures that he barely hears Principal Funderburk's voice.

"Jerry, I know we've had our ups and downs. I know that I haven't always been fair to you, and that I've shown prejudiced behaviors towards you. But, as your Principal, it is my job to make sure every student is safe and taken care of. I know you may not completely trust me yet, but I hope you'll believe me when I say that I want the best for you. Now, I'm gonna ask again and I want you to be honest with me: how long have you been getting bullied?"

Jerry tells the truth when he says, "Only since this morning." Principal Funderburk seems surprised by this, and he asks Jerry to elaborate. "Well this morning I found the word fag written on my locker. I took pictures of it before my friends helped me clean it up." Jerry shows the Principal the pictures and he nods, considering.

"While I'm disappointed that any student of mine would act this way, I'm glad you weren't physically injured." After a pause, Funderburk adds, "Do you have any idea of who might've done this?" Jerry truly doesn't. He says as much. the Principal drums his fingers on his table, head resting in his other hand as he thinks. "Wait a minute. What hallway is your locker in?"

"The main one, right next to the staircase," Jerry responds.

"Perfect!" Principal Funderburk opens an app on his computer, and a database full of security camera footage comes up. As he searches for the right camera, Funderburk says, "Your locker should be in direct view of the camera, and because the handwriting from both incidents match, it's pretty likely that whoever wrote on your locker also wrote on your desk." Funderburk clicks the correct file and the footage plays.

The video starts early in the morning, where the only people on tape are the custodians. Fast forward to about seven a.m. and the culprit approaches Jerry's locker and pulls out a Sharpie. Both watch as he hatefully scribbles the word _FAG_ on his locker. The Principal pauses the footage and zooms in on his face. Jerry gasps.

"Brody?!" They simultaneously exclaim. Sure, Brody and Jerry have never been friends, per se, but he's never been openly antagonistic towards Jerry either. It all just seems so sudden, so out of left field, that Jerry's almost certain that his hateful words have nothing to do with a personal hatred of Jerry. It's more likely that he's just severely homophobic.

Funderburk is equally surprised, considering that Brody is, generally speaking, a good student. He keeps himself together though, and tells Jerry not to worry. "Brody will be dealt with. I'll show him this video, talk with him, and then he'll be suspended for a month. No one should ever have to deal with death threats, but especially not at my school." Funderburk's eyes soften. "I apologize for letting this fly under my radar."

"It's fine," Jerry responds. "It's not like you knew this was going to happen."

The Principal retorts, "It's not fine. Even though I didn't know it would happen, I allowed students here to believe that it is okay to bully others. That is never okay, and it is my job as a principal and as an adult to make sure that it never happens again."

Jerry pauses. "I... thank you, and I accept your apology." Funderburk sighs in relief.

"Unfortunately, I do have to make sure your parents know what happened today. If you'd like, I can call and talk to them for you. Or, you can call and tell them yourself."

"I'll let them know."

"Good. While you do that, I need to draft an email to the counselors. Feel free to step out of the room, but once you're done with the phone call I do need to go over a few things with you." Jerry nods and exits the Principal's office. After an unnecessarily long conversation ( _"Yes Mama, I'm fine... No, he didn't hit me... No, I don't have any bruises, I just said he didn't hit me!..._ Lo siento _, I'll stop with the attitude... yes, I'm okay... Love you, Mami)_ Jerry comes back into the office.

"Perfect timing, I just finished my email. Now, when I talk with Brody, you don't necessarily need to be present, because he technically threatened your life. That said, you can still show up if you'd like, and you can even bring your parents. This is all about your safety, and I want to assure you and your family that you are in good hands here at Seaford High. We want you guys to know that we will be dealing with the situation properly."

"Thanks," Jerry starts, "but I don't think I need to be here for that conversation."

"Okay," Funderburk accepts. "Now that we've covered that, there's one more thing I want to say. I've emailed the counselors and we've decided that we're gonna have an assembly tomorrow about bullying. I know it seems juvenile, but it's important that everyone feels accepted at this school. I was wondering if you'd like to speak on behalf of your club? I know that it may seem daunting, especially because of this... incident. You have every right to say no. But, I think you'll find that sometimes, all it takes to break the cycle is one brave action. What do you say? Wanna give a speech."

Jerry doesn't even half to think. "Hell yeah!"

"Language," the Principal jokingly chides. A pause, and then, "I'm proud of you Jerry. Know that I, along with the VP and school counselors, are always here to support you. You're doing a good thing, kid. Now get back to class. I'm sure someone's replaced the desk for you." With a firm pat on the back, Principal Funderburk leads Jerry out of his office.

* * *

After school, before he heads to his group's meeting place, Jerry heads to Chess Club's room. Sure enough, Sidney is sitting at one of the tables, waiting for an opponent. Jerry slides in the seat opposite of him and Sidney startles.

"Jerry? Are you here to join Chess Club?" Sidney asks.

"No, not today. I'm actually here to thank you. You saw my desk on your way to class, didn't you? And you reported it to Principal Funderburk?"

"Well yeah, but I don't need to be thanked. Anyone would've done the same."

"Sure, but still. I haven't been the kindest to you, and yet you still told the Principal. You could've just been a bystander, but instead you possibly saved my life. _Thank you_."

Sidney considers this. "You're welcome. And for what it's worth, I've mistreated you too. I acted all high and mighty around you when really, I should've been treating you as an equal. I accept your apology, and I'd like to say sorry to you too."

Jerry smiles. "No hard feelings, man. Friends?"

Sidney smiles back. "Friends." The two shake hands.

"Alright, I've gotta go meet the others. Practice starts soon."

"See ya!" Jerry make his way to the door when Sidney interjects with, "Wait!" Jerry pauses, turning back around. "Treat Milton well." Jerry immediately blushes.

"Wha- how did you-"

"You guys really aren't subtle. But I mean it; I don't want to give you the shovel talk, but I'll say this: if you hurt him--"

"Got it!" Jerry says.

"Good. See you tomorrow, Jerry."

"Bye, Sidney." Jerry makes his was to the staircase, where Milton, Kim, and Jack are waiting.

* * *

"What took so long?" Milton asks. On the way to the student parking lot, Jerry explains it all.

"Oh my God, that's awful," Kim says.

"I'm so sorry that happened," Milton adds.

"So what happens now?" Jack asks.

"Now, Brody gets suspended, I give a speech at tomorrow's assembly, and we hope that there are no other secret homophobes at school," Jerry answers.

Milton smiles. "You're really brave, Jerry."

"Thanks, Milty." Jerry returns the smile. He misses the knowing look that Jack and Kim share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one wasn't super romantic/shippy, but I wanted to talk about homophobia and the responsibility of the leaders in our lives. I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and took away something meaningful from it. Also, thank you for all the lovely comments. Love you! <3
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	11. the speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry gives his speech and thinks _Maybe we're moving too fast._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! I'm back!!!  
> I'm so _so_ sorry that I've been gone for so long. I diverged from my original story plan and I needed some time to thing about how I wanted to tie things together. While it's unfortunate that COVID has caused schools to shut down, it's given me time to brainstorm and write without interruption. Thank you so much for your patience with me, and I hope you enjoy the coming chapters <333

As Jerry walks into his home that night, he's met with his mama's smothering hug.

" _Ay_ , Jerry, I'm so sorry that mean boy did that to you!" Her voice his trembling and Jerry can feel tears seeping into his shirt.

" _Mama_ , don't cry! I made you worry, _lo siento_. I'm okay, I promise. He didn't touch me or anything."

"I know, but to have to go through that... I can't imagine."

" _Mami_ ," Jerry pauses for a beat, "I appreciate it, but you can't protect me from everything, you know. I'm growing up, and soon I won't have anyone to protect me. And that's okay! I can take care of myself."

"I know, Jerry, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you." The hug for a while longer while his mama's tears dry, then they head further inside the house. Jerry meets his papa's eyes, and his stomach drops a bit.

He doesn't expect his father to be callous or anything, but he knows that his father is kind of a macho man. He wouldn't be surprised to hear a "suck it up, _nino_." So when _Papa_ gives him a hug and instead asks, "How are you?" Jerry nearly cries.

He holds it together and responds, "I'm alright, _Papa_. I'll be alright."

"You know you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you, right?"

"I know."

"Hey," his papa says, "I love you."

"I love you too, _Papa_." After a strong pat on the back, Jerry's papa leaves to pick up his sisters from their dance class. Jerry helps his mom with dinner. Once the girls come home they all eat together, and everything carries on like normal. Jerry goes to bed relieved that his parents didn't make a big deal about everything.

* * *

It's the next day. Jerry stands backstage listening as the counselors finish their spiel on bullying. He can't exactly tell what they're saying, but one of the counselors must've given some type of closing remark, because the familiar sound of teenagers giving an awkward, forced applause thunders throughout the auditorium. _Deep breaths Jerry. You got this._

The speaking returns after the clapping ends, but this time he hears it clearly: "We'd like to welcome to the stage your fellow classmate Jerry Martinez!" There's more clapping, but Jerry notices that the audience murmurs this time around. _Deep breaths_. He walks onto the stage with an air of confidence, taking self-assured steps and holding his head up high. He can't afford to be nervous, not with a topic as serious as this.

 _I am Jerry Martinez. I am strong. I am brave. I can do this!_ He gives the counselor a smile and receives the microphone from her. Jerry looks out into the audience, but it's nearly impossible to see individual faces with how many lights are shining in his face. That makes standing on stage a little bit easier, he supposes. He can see a few faces, though. He sees Grace in the back right corner, talking with some cheerleaders he doesn't know by name. He sees Frank in the middle left, trying to get his friends to quiet down so they can hear his speech. He sees Sidney in the middle, chastising Albert for being obnoxious. Jerry snorts.

Front and center, though, Jerry sees his friends. He sees the encouraging smile that Kim gives, he sees Jack's enthusiastic thumbs up. And then he sees Milton. Milton, who's always been there to support and encourage Jerry. Milton, who inspires Jerry to try his best, always. Milton, who discreetly blows Jerry a kiss and mouths _you can do it!_

Jerry takes one final deep breath. Yeah, he's got this.

"Hey everyone! I'm Jerry Martinez. You might know me as the 'Sub Sinker,' or maybe you know me from one of my many, many pranks I've played." This garners a laugh from the audience. "Recently though, you may know me from Club Rush, as the co-president of the GSA." The mood sobers a bit. "And for all of you wondering: Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I'm still the same person, and no, you don't have to treat me, or any of your queer classmates, any differently. Unless, of course, you're being rude to them. Actually, that's what I'm here to talk to you about.

"As some of you may already know, I've received some... harsh words since coming out. Because this person used slurs, I can't show or tell you what they said. I can say this, though: the person used homophobic words to try to bully me. I'd like to think that our school would be above that, and I'm sure most of you guys are, but maybe some people don't understand how serious homophobia can get. 

"Now, I know I'm not the most studious person, but I did some research." A few laughs from the crowd. "I found out that kids in the LGBTQ community are five times more likely to attempt suicide. Five times! That's crazy! And when you consider the fact that there are 3.2 _million_ American kids who are part of the community, you start to realize how dangerous that statistic is. Now, I would never commit suicide, but you never know what other people are going through. Unless they tell you, someone might really be struggling with their identity, and your words might have the final say. You have the ability to save a life, if you just choose kindness." Jerry pauses to let the words sink in.

Something unexpected happens, though. Someone, and Jerry can't see who, starts clapping. Slowly, at first. Other people begin clapping too. The tempo increases. It's not long before everyone is applauding, and some people are even hollering. Now, of course Jerry knew that his school was pretty tolerant. They were in Seaford, California, after all. But still, the massive show of support from _everyone_ was... overwhelming. Jerry looks to Principal Funderburk, who watches the crowd with a proud smile on his face. He meets Jerry's eyes and gives him a thumbs up. Jerry smiles back.

Eventually, the applause dies down. Jerry takes a moment to compose himself, then asks, "I know this topic can be confusing, so does anyone have any questions?"

Milton is the first one to raise his hand. "How can we support queer kids at school?" (Jerry knows that Milton knows the answer to that question, but he assumes Milton asked in case someone else was too afraid to. _God, Milton is so sweet_.)

"Well, the best thing you can do is make school a safe space. I'm very lucky to have supportive parents, but not everyone does. Having a place where kids don't have to be afraid to be themselves is the goal here, and that's what GSA is for. You don't need to be a part of the club to help out, though. Just being nice to one another is a great start. Anyone else?" Jerry is shocked when more people start asking questions. Originally, he thought it was only going to be his friends who asked questions, so that he wouldn't look awkward onstage. Then, Grace asks a question, which prompted a wave of inquiries from various people. Not all of them were serious, or even good questions. But some of them were surprisingly heartfelt and genuine, like the guy who asked about online resources, or the girl who asked about definitions of certain identities.

Frank is the last one to join the conversation. Almost hesitantly, he asks, "How-- how did you know that you're gay? And how did you become so vocal about it so quickly?"

"Oh." Jerry considers this. He didn't expect to be asked this question, but he thinks he has the right answer. "Well, I-- I think I always kinda knew that I wasn't really attracted to girls, but I thought that maybe I just hadn't met the right one. I didn't know that 'The Right One' would be a dude." The crowd loudly giggles at that. "But in all seriousness, I didn't fully realize that I was gay until I evaluated my life and my relationships, I guess. Once I realized, I tried to hide it at first. I wasn't very good at being secretive, though. Once my parents found out and they still accepted me, I realized that it didn't matter what anyone else thought. I decided to become open about it because others might need a role model. And, at the end of the day, even if some people decide to be rude to me because of who I am, I still have my support system: my friends, my family, and..." he looks towards Milton, heart-eyed, "...and the man I love." A group of girls towards the back _aww_ s very loudly. Jerry thinks it's the cheerleaders. "Any other questions?" No one raises their hands. "On that note, thanks for listening, and remember to choose kindness." The crowd applauds one last time, and Jerry heads off-stage.

_I did it!_

* * *

The rest of the school day goes by pretty quickly. More people sign up for GSA's upcoming events, and the school seems to have a lighter, kinder aura. For Jerry specifically, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of his chest. Jerry's not naive enough to believe that things will stay that way forever, but he truly hopes that the message will stick for a while.

Eventually, the school day ends. Jerry's waiting for his friends by the staircase when he gets a message from Rebecca.

_"I kinda liked 'choose kindness.' Thinkin about making it the GSA catchphrase"_

Jerry responds, " _hell yeah, dude! sounds good :)"_ Jerry puts his phone away when he hears footsteps approaching him.

"The man I love, huh?" Jerry whips his head upward and his eyes widen. _Oh shit, I didn't see how he responded to that! Oh God, what if he hates me?_

"Milton! I- uh- I didn't mean... well, I did mean, _do_ mean, I... um..." Milton bites his lower lip, trying to contain his laughter. Jerry follows the movement and Dios mio, _I really am in love with this boy._

"Jerry, it's okay! I-" He pauses. "I love you too. I was honestly just surprised you said it in front of the entire school."

"Yeah, me too." Milton snorts. Jerry takes a deep breath, thinking. "Isn't this... do you think we're moving too fast? I mean, I literally haven't even asked you out and we're already, well, _here._ "

"Well, do you love me?" Milton asks.

"What?! Yeah, Of course I do!"

"Then it's fine."

"But-"

Milton interjects with, "No 'but's. You've been struggling with your feeling for a while, right?" Jerry nods. "And you've already established that you _do_ love me. And even if that weren't the case, we're allowed to do _this_. We're allowed to fall in love easily, to jump right into relationships, to feel like we're moving too fast because _we're kids._ We're young and we're new to this whole relationship thing, so we can make mistakes. We _will_ make mistakes. But, at the end of the day, it'll be alright. Wanna know why? Because we love each other, and we're gonna stick together and support each other through everything." Milton gives Jerry a sweet smile and Jerry just about melts.

"Thank you, Milty. I really needed that." He grabs Milton's hands, causing the ginger to look at him almost bashfully. "I don't mind people knowing about us. Do you?"

"Not at all." Milton leans in as Jerry just barely stands on his tippy toes. Jerry meets Milton's eyes before his own inevitably shutter closed. A little closer, and he can feel Milton's eyelashes tickle his cheekbone. He suppresses the tiniest of smiles and finally _kisses him_. It feels liberating to be able to kiss in public and not care about others' opinions. He loves Milton and Milton loves him back. As far as Jerry's concerned, that's all he needs in life.

Loud footsteps reverberate in the hall, only to suddenly stop. "I knew it!" a loud, feminine voice proclaims. The two reluctantly separate.

Kim expectantly looks over at Jack, who playfully rolls his eyes and pulls out his wallet.

"You guys made a bet?" Milton asks. He sounds slightly breathless, Jerry proudly notes.

"Yep, and guess who won?! Me!" Kim does her silly victory dance, and everything feels normal. Jerry didn't need any further proof, but it's nice to know that everything's gonna be alright.

* * *

They don't have practice that day, so Jerry heads straight home after exchanging his goodbyes with everyone. When he enters the house, he's immediately met with the smell of _pozole rojo_. _As if this day couldn't get any better._ Jerry doesn't bother fighting his smile. He walks into the kitchen with a spring in his step and plants a kiss on his mother's cheek.

" _Ay, nino_ , what's got you so excited?" _Mama_ asks.

"I gave this speech at school and it went really well!" Jerry answers.

"I'm glad! What was it about?"

"Homophobia, actually. Everyone loved it!"

"I'm so proud of you." His mama opens the silverware drawer. "Would you set the table? Your _papa_ _y hermanas_ should be home soon." Jerry pulls out utensils and places them on the table. Just as he begins pouring soup in bowls, his papa enter the house with his sisters.

" _Hola_ Jerry," Alejandra calls out, followed by echos of " _hola"_ from the others.

" _Hola!_ " He responds. He finishes placing the bowls on the table, as everyone takes a seat. _Papa_ instructs everyone to say hold hands and he begins to say grace. Immediately after saying "amen," Jerry digs into dinner.

 _Mama_ starts the conversation with, "Did you know Jerry gave a speech today?"

"Really? How did it go?" Valeria asks.

"Pretty well! How was your day?" Valeria tells him about their trip to the Seaford planetarium, with input from Valentina. Jerry gets an idea, but he keep it to himself. After the twins finish their story, Jerry asks about Alejandra's day.

Eventually, the conversation lulls into nothingness. Jerry looks up to see his mother's questioning look directly facing him. He tilts his head in a nonverbal _what is it?_

"So, when are you gonna ask Milton out?"

" _Ay Dios mio._ " His sisters giggle. Now that everyone's attention is on him, he feels the tiniest bit bashful. "I don't know... soon, I guess?"

"You should, in case he loses interest." _Milton wouldn't lose interest in me_ that _quickly, right?_

"And make sure its a big gesture, or else he might say no." _Milton doesn't want something huge, does he?_

After a brief moment of contemplation, Jerry says, "Actually, I do't think I'm gonna do something big for him. He's kinda private and introverted, so maybe if I just ask him normally, he'll go with me. And I think if I pick somewhere he'll love, he'll say yes. I think he values thoughtfulness over size."

He expects his parents to look at least a little disappointed, but instead they look... _proud?_

"You must really care for this boy, huh?" _Papa_ comments. Jerry blushes. "Well, if you're confident and happy with your plan, then we'll support you."

"Thank you, _Papi._ " The family finishes dinner and his sisters help _Papa_ clean up. Soon, it's bedtime and Jerry stares at his ceiling, daydreaming about how he's gonna ask out Milton. His eyes flutter shut and he drifts off into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was wondering, the statistics came from [The Trevor Project](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/) and [The Williams Institute of Law](https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/lgbt-youth-bullying-press-release/) (UCLA's School of Law)


	12. the date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry _finally_ asks Milton out on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really thought this quarantine would mean I would be more productive, but apparently it means I get more schoolwork and more hours at work. Anyways, sorry for the overdue chapter! I love you all!

Jerry lays in bed, staring up at his popcorn ceiling. It's 4:57 am, and he hasn't been able to fall back asleep after waking up around 3. He _so does not_ want to be awake right now. He's tired and he has a big day tomorrow, so he has to figure out how to fall back asleep.

Jerry huffs. _Time to consult the internet, I guess._ He searches, "cant sleep but tired," which yields some interesting results. Some sources tell him to drink tea, but he doesn't want to get out of bed to boil water. Other sites tell him to take sleeping pills, but his family doesn't have any. There's drinking warm milk, counting sheep, simply just closing his eyes and waiting, but Jerry knows none of these things will work for him. He's tried it all before.

It's at 5:02 that Jerry stumbles upon the answer he's been looking for. He clicks on the hyperlink, resigned to the fact that he may not sleep for the rest of the night, when he sees the suggestion to _be productive_. Which is weird, he realizes, and a bit counter-intuitive, but he can deal with it. Basically, the article tells him that he probably can't sleep because he's too focused on the future. _Kinda like when kids can't sleep before the first day of school,_ he realizes. So, there must be something he's anxious about, in his near future.

 _I mean, there's the date with Milton... I_ am _excited about it, but am I scared too?_

_No, of course not. It's just Milton._

_Then again, it's_ Milton. A _nd_ me. _On a_ date. _Holy shit, I'm going on a date. With a dude. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. Why am I panicking? I already knew I was gay!_

 _Oh God, I_ am _scared._

Jerry shakes off his thoughts and continues reading the article. It says that nervous energy is good if it can be used for a creative or productive output, but can be very damaging if there's nothing to do with the energy. _Creative output... maybe I'll draw something?_ Jerry suddenly remembers seeing picture of people with signs for promposals. Obviously he's not asking Milton out to prom _(yet)_ , but making a cute sign could definitely calm his mind down a bit. Luckily, he still has some poster paper left over from his last science project.

He turns on his desk light, places the poster on the table, and pulls out his markers. _Time to get started._

He picks out various shades of blue, because blue is Milton's favorite color, and places them on the table. Now he just needs to think about what he wants to say. _Milton likes puns, right?_ He does a quick search for a suitable pick up line. It takes him about three minutes to find, but it's perfect. He nicely writes the line (or, at least, as nicely as one can write in a dimly lit bedroom at 5:15 in the morning), and embellishes with little doodles. It looks nice, but it needs one more thing... _glitter? Is that too much?_ Jerry decides to use his gold glitter glue and outline the letters. He's glad he did, because it takes his poster to the next level.

Jerry's pretty happy with this. He thinks Milton will be too. Or, at least, he hopes Milton likes it.

A tiny part of Jerry thinks it may be too much, thinks that Milton would want something even smaller. But the bigger part of Jerry recognizes that Milton likes, no, _loves_ , him, so the poster will be appreciated.

Jerry flops on his bed, letting out a giddy laugh. _Milton loves me, and I love him_. It's scary, it's weird, it's new, it's overwhelming, and all of this is just now dawning on him. _Will this feeling ever end?_ he wonders. _Will I ever get to the point where I can say "I love Milton" without feeling this rush?_ Part of Jerry hopes the answer is yes, just because he feels like in most teenage relationships, both parties freely and flippantly exchange "I love you"s. But... _I kinda like this feeling_.

Jerry hopes that he never gets to the point where "I love you" is simply a statement. Love is a vow, a promise. Love is the secrets exchanged, the feelings shared. It's the acts, little and big, that proclaim everlasting devotion. It's growing and ever-changing, it's constant in times of struggle. It's the bridge connecting two souls, and it's the wall that protects them from the world. Love is an adventure, love is home. Love isn't perfect; it can bring about many troubling things. But love solves these troubles. Love mends all wounds. Love is a story, love is memories held dear. It is new, it is ancient, it is persistent. Love is never simply a statement, it is an act. Jerry hopes that when he says, "I love you, Milton Krupnick," he never gets over this feeling.

Satisfied and thoroughly tired out, Jerry goes to sleep. It's nearly six, so Jerry won't have much more time to sleep. He's okay with that, though.

* * *

Jerry wakes up again feeling oddly refreshed, despite his lack of sleep. He puts the poster in a separate bag so as not to ruin it, then gets dressed and ready for the day. He's out of the door in record time, wanting to get to school before Milton can see what he's carrying.

Once he arrives, Jerry places his bag in his locker. _Okay, I can do this. I'm gonna act normal, then at lunch I'm gonna surprise him with the poster, but I'll make sure to ask him out where there aren't so many people. That means no cafeteria and no bleachers, which leaves the eco club's garden. That's perfect, because Milton loves flowers! Then I'll ask him out, and hopefully he'll say yes!_

"Awesome," Jerry breathes under his breath.

"What's awesome?" Jack asks from behind him. Jerry absolutely did _not_ get scared by him.

Jerry turns to face his friend. He figures he can trust Jack to keep the secret for a while. "I have everything planned, and I'm gonna ask Milton out today."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Jack exclaims.

"I just need you to keep it a secret for me, okay? It's a surprise."

"No problem," Jack promised.

Yes, problem. Big, big problem, actually, problem being, Jack can't keep a secret, which Jerry knew, but _stupidly_ forgot in his haste and excitement about his plans.

Of course, Jack didn't explicitly tell Milton his plans, which was good. But between the excessive looks from him to Milton and the statements implying a lunchtime event, Jerry was pretty sure Milton knew something was up. 

As soon as the lunch bell rang, Jerry rushes to his locker to retrieve the poster bag, walks to the cafeteria, and gets in line with his friends.

Milton is the last to arrive. "Sorry I'm a bit late, I got held up in the science lab on my way here." Milton sets his tray down and begins eating with the rest of them. Jerry hurriedly finishes his food. _Oh God, it's happening today._ _Stay calm, Jerry, stay calm._

Milton shoots him a quizzical look. "Is everything alright? Jack's been giving you strange looks all day."

"I'm fine. I'm great! Awesome! You?"

 _What the hell was that._ Jerry's a sweet talker, he's good with ladies. Why's he all flustered when he's talking to Milton? Milton is just a boy; Jerry can do this.

Milton snorts, and _oh God, how did he manage to make that cute_. "I'm good."

"Cool."

"Cool." Milton is still wearing a confused smile, and Jack and Kim watch bemusedly.

Jack eventually says, "Hey, I've heard that eco club is growing some petunias in the garden. We should check them out!"

"Oh, I love petunias," Milton responds, "Let's go." Jerry gives Jack a thankful smile. Jack gives him a thumbs up.

"We'll catch up with you guys," Jack says, pulling a confused Kim to the side. _That's right, she doesn't know about the plan yet._

Jerry and Milton make their way to the garden. "I wonder what they're up to," Milton muses. Jerry swallows, tongue dry with nervousness. "So, what's really wrong? Are you actually alright?"

"...yeah, I am. I will be. You'll see."

"Oh?" Milton quirks an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it." Jerry musters up all the confidence he can bear. Yes, it's scary because _he's asking out a dude_ , but, it's also just Milton who he's asking out. Milton whom he loves, and who loves him back. He can do this. _I can do this._ A feeling of calm settles over him.

Before he knows it, they've arrived at the garden. Jerry gestures for Milton to take a seat on the bench while he walks a few paces in front of him. Jerry takes a deep breath.

"I know that you love me, and you know that I love you, but I thought I'd be fitting to make this relationship official." Jerry pulls out the blue and gold poster and reads, "If I had a star for every moment I fell in love with you, I'd have a whole galaxy." He looks Milton in the eye when he asks, "Milton David Krupnick, will you go out with me?"

Milton gives him the sweetest smile, and Jerry might be imagining it, but his eyes are shiny with unshed tears. "Of course I will." Milton places his hand on Jerry's lower back, leaning down to plant a light kiss on Jerry's cheek. Jerry turns his head so that their lips touch, and he _feels_. He feels relief that he asked, joy that Milton said yes. He feels warm imagining their future, he feels light remembering their present. He feels whole, like he's found his soulmate. When their lips move in tandem, when he throws his arms around Milton's shoulders, when they slowly separate and touch foreheads, when they lock eyes and laugh under their breaths, he feels _love._

"Where're we headed?" Milton whispers, as if he's afraid to break the mood.

"The Seaford Planetarium."

"Ah, the space pun makes sense now." Jerry smirks.

The bell rings, and the two reluctantly step apart from each other. They walk the same direction, headed for the same class. Milton hesitantly sticks his hand out, fingertips brushing Jerry's. Both boys look at each other and blush. Jerry looks down and entwines his fingers with Milton's. They confidently walk to class, hand-in-hand.

Once they get to the classroom, they sit in their respective seats. The bell rings. As the teacher drones on, Jerry spaces out. Before he knows it, class is over and everyone is heading home. Rudy's out of town with Bobby Wasabi, so there's no practice today. Before he drives home, he tells Milton he'll be picking him up for dinner.

"What time should I be ready?" the redhead asks.

"Maybe around 5:30? We'll be at the restaurant by 6, and then by the time we finish the stars should be out. I'll pick you up, okay?"

"Sounds good. See you soon!" Milton gives him a parting peck on the cheek. Some people around them watch nosily, others smile at how sweet it is. Jerry feels content. He can't wait for tonight.

* * *

5:10 comes way too quickly. Jerry's dressed moderately fancy, with a pastel yellow button-up dress shirt, his nicest black jeans, and black dress shoes. His hair is neatly combed to the side, with a bit of pomade to keep it in place, and he's wearing a spritz of his favorite cologne. He's all dress up and totally ~~not~~ ready for tonight.

He gives his mama and papa a kiss before leaving the house. They demand that he tell them everything when he gets back home, to which Jerry obliges. Hopping in the car, Jerry makes his way to Milton's house.

His palms are a bit sweaty ( _gross,_ he thinks) and he can't deny that he's feeling mildly nervous, but it's in a good way. He's excited about tonight.

It's 5:20 by the time he gets to Milton's house, enough time to speak with his parents before leaving. He truly loves the Krupnick family, but he's a little nervous to see how they react to him.

 _Oh God, do they even know that their son is dating me?_ Jerry totally forgot to ask! _Shit._

Pulling up to the house and wiping his hands on his lap, Jerry calms himself. _Everything is gonna be alright. Milton would tell me if his parents didn't know._

Jerry takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. Milton's dad answers.

"Hi Mr. Krupnick!" Jerry confidently greets.

"Jerry! It's nice to see you," his dad responds. Mr. Krupnick invites him into the house.

"Oh, give me a hug, dear. It's been too long since I've seen you!" Mrs. Krupnick says. Jerry wisely does not mention that he saw them not too long ago when he dropped Milton off.

"It's nice to see you too, Mrs. Krupnick."

"Please, just call me Doris." They go through this song and dance every time, but just calling her Doris seems too informal. After they hug, she asks, "You excited for your date tonight?"

 _Oh thank goodness, they already know._ "Yeah, I'm really excited. I think Milton is really gonna like it!"

"Oh good, I'm happy for you too."

Mr. Krupnick adds, "You know, Jerry, you make my son really happy. In fact, he's been happier than I've ever seen him in a while. Now, I know you're a good kid, but as his father I need you to know that if you hurt my son--"

"--David!" Mrs. Krupnick interrupts.

"It's okay, Mrs. Krupnick, I understand. In fact, I think my dad might say the same thing." They all politely laugh. "But, in all seriousness, I promise I will not hurt your son. Our relationship won't be perfect, because no relationships are. But I love him. A lot, actually, and that love is gonna keep us going."

Milton comes down just at that moment. He's wearing a maroon button down, cuffed at the wrists, dark blue jeans, and brown dress shoes. His hair is gelled and quiffed, and he has a fancy gold wrist watch to complete the look.

 _Damn_ , Jerry thinks. His mouth dries. Giving Milton a final once-over, Jerry comments, "You look amazing."

Milton blushes, checks Jerry out. "So do you."

Before things can get awkward, Jerry asks, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep!" The two exchange goodbyes with the parents and Jerry drives them to the edge of the city. There's a cute little space-themed near the Planetarium, so they stop there first. It's not terribly fancy, seeing as no reservations are required, but it is a bit more formal than the average restaurant. Jerry's glad they went with business casual.

The service at the restaurant is quick, seeing as they get seated almost immediately after arriving. Milton orders the Ziggy Stardust, which actually turns out to be shepherd's pie, David Bowie's favorite dish, and Jerry gets the Space Jam, which is a bison burger with blue cheese and onion jam. The food is good, but the conversation is even better.

"And I told him, 'The refractometer is at the wrong angle! You're gonna vastly underestimate the refractive index, and then the paper's gonna catch on fire!' He didn't listen and guess what? The paper caught on fire." Jerry laughs. He knows fuck all about whatever Milton's talking about, but he loves seeing his so animated and happy to share a story. It's cute, in a nerdy sorta way.

The rest of the night continues much like this, with one boy telling about an instance the other knows nothing about and both laughing freely because they're just happy to be with one another. Soon enough, the sun sets and Jerry asks for the check.

Jerry spies Milton digging through his wallet and says, "Oh don't worry about it, I'm paying!"

"No way, I'll pay!"

"Don't try to be more chivalrous than me, Milton David Krupnick." Milton laughs at Jerry's antics.

"Fine, you win today, but when I ask you out on our next date, _I'm_ paying." Jerry's heart jumps at the words _next date_. They haven't even finished their first and Milton already wants to go on another? _Wow._

Jerry places his card on the tray, and the two wait while the waiter processes the payment. After receiving the receipt, the two head to the car. Jerry drives them to the Seaford Planetarium, the two making comfortable small talk on the way there.

The line to buy tickets is a bit long, but nothing unbearable. Once they get inside, Jerry realizes why. _Tonight is the Lyrid meteor shower!_ Milton seems to come to the same conclusion.

"Did you know there was gonna be a meteor shower tonight?"

"Honestly? No." He gently laughs. "Perfect timing, huh?" 

Milton grabs Jerry's hand. "It's nice, but any night with you is already perfect." Heat rises to Jerry's cheeks. _Damn it, he made me blush._ "Let's go to the viewing room, yeah?" Jerry nods with a smile.

The two head to the room, hand in hand. They stand in the front, faces basically pressed up to the glass. It's beautiful, seeing the unfiltered night sky away from the sound and light pollution of the city. The galaxy is quiet but teeming with energy, and the bright stars shine over everyone. Jerry turns to Milton and his breathing stops.

Milton looks positively _ethereal_ , starlight pouring over his pale cheeks. His eyes twinkle with wonder, lips slightly parted in awe. Jerry can't look away. Milton turns towards him, seemingly in slow motion, as if time has stopped but for the two of them. When their eyes meet Jerry's heart _flutters_. Milton's eyes flicker to his lips and he kisses Jerry. _God, I_ really _hope I don't get over this feeling._ The kiss is like a breath of fresh air, like sleepy proclamations of love, like home.

A soft gasp from behind them brings Jerry back to reality. The person is pointing just above their heads and _oh._ "It's starting," Milton whispers.

Jerry has never seen anything as beautiful as the frosty blue tails of meteors blazing in the night sky reflecting in Milton's eyes. Jerry squeezes Milton's hand. Milton squeezes back.

Softly smiling, Jerry turns his gaze back to the stars and rests his head on Milton's shoulder.

 _Yeah, this night is perfect_ , he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is coming to a close soon, and it's been pretty emotional for me. This was my first fic after taking years off from writing, and you guys have shown me nothing but love. I think that because this is a small fandom at the moment, I'm really able to feel closer and more connected to you guys. I appreciate and love all of you! See you in the next chapter <3
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	13. the dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GSA has its first official meeting as prom season approaches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached it: the penultimate chapter (I've always wanted to say that lol)! Thank you guys for continuously being patient with me! I'm currently trying to figure out some personal things, which is why this wasn't out sooner. Regardless, I'm so happy to be writing again, even if it's only for a bit. I hope you guys enjoy!

After their date, Jerry drives Milton home, and with a quick peck on the cheek, the go separate ways. Jerry makes his way to his own home where, upon his arrival, he's bombarded with questions from his family. He happily answers them all, still riding on the high from the fantastic night he just had. Eventually, the conversation dies down, and it's with sleepy contentment that Jerry heads to his room.

* * *

The following week, Jerry and Rebecca host the first official GSA meeting. They both got let out of class a bit early to set up, so they're currently in the club room putting up chairs and tables. Jerry grabs the rainbow cupcakes (which are very cheesy, he recognizes) and the drinks from the fridge and places it on one table while Rebecca places empty name tags on another. After they're done, they step back and look over everything, just to make sure nothing's missing.

"Looks good, huh?" Rebecca says.

"Sure does." They both smile and exhale. _Time to wait for the bell_ , he thinks.

Soon enough, classes end and people begin flooding the hallways. The first person to arrive is, surprisingly, Grace. Though, she does bring her own lunch to school, so it's likely that everyone else who plans on coming is waiting in line for school lunch.

She shyly and hesitantly walked into the room, a far cry from her usual confident self. Jerry tries to make her more at ease.

"Hey Grace, looks like you're the first one here! You can take a cupcake and a drink, if you'd like, while we wait for everyone else to show up."

Grace visibly relaxes at his words. "Okay, cool!" she responds with a smile. She grabs a cupcake and a water bottle.

"Oh, and don't forget to grab a name tag! There's space for you to write your name in one box, and your orientation and pronouns in the other. It's okay if you don't want to fill out that box, though," Rebecca adds. Grace nods and heads over to the name tag table.

Milton, Jack, and Kim are the next ones to show up. "Hey guys!" he greets. "We have cupcakes and drinks on that table over there," he points, "and name tags on the other table. You can fill out your name, orientation, and pronouns, or just your name if you're uncomfortable with the other two." His friends smile and head over to the food table. 

More people come, and within a few more minutes the room is almost full. Frank is the last one to arrive. Jerry can't help but to remember that he asked the last question at the assembly ( _"How... how did you know you're gay?_ _"_ ). Jerry gives him a warm smile and tells him about the food and name tags.

Once everyone is settled, Rebecca claps twice to capture everyone's attention. "Hey everyone! Thanks for coming to our first meeting!"

Jerry then says, "If you'd like, you can go ahead and take a seat in our little circle of chairs, and then we'll get started!" Everyone murmurs, discussing where they'll sit. Jerry and Rebecca are the first to be seated, followed by Jerry's friends. Soon, everyone is seated and conversation has softened, for the most part.

"So, we're gonna go around in a circle and introduce ourselves. We're obviously gonna say names, and if you feel comfortable, you can read the pronouns and orientation you wrote on your name tag," Rebecca begins.

"And, if you're not super comfortable with that, just tell us your favorite ice cream flavor, or something like that." Jerry's statement garners smiles and a few amused huffs.

"I'll go ahead and start. My name's Rebecca, I use she/her pronouns, and I'm lesbian."

"I'll go next, and then we can continue in this direction. I'm Jerry, my pronouns are he/him, and I'm gay."

"Oh, uh, I guess it's my turn," Milton says. Jerry ~~not so~~ discretely grasps Milton's hand. Milton grins. "I'm Milton, my pronouns are also he/him, and... I've never said this out loud before, but I'm bisexual." The group congratulates him, and Milton grins wider.

"I'm Jack, he/him pronouns work for me, and I'm a straight ally."

"My name's Kim, I use she/her pronouns, and I'm also a straight ally."

Next is Grace, who seems a bit hesitant but says, "I'm Grace, I use she/her pronouns, and... my favorite ice cream flavor is Rocky Road." She seems a bit... nervous? _No,_ Jerry thinks, _she seems ashamed, almost_.

"Ooh, that's a good flavor," he responds in an attempt to lift her spirits. Her head perks back up, and she wears a half-shocked, half-grateful expression. Others murmur in agreement. Rocky Road _is_ a good flavor, after all.

The ice breaker continues much in this fashion, with some saying favorite ice cream flavors instead. Mint chip seems to be the most popular. Eventually, it gets to the last person, who is, unsurprisingly, Frank.

Quietly, he says, "I'm Frank, and I... I don't exactly want to label who I am yet, I don't think. I'm used to he/him pronouns, but I'm not opposed to they/them either. Um... yeah, that's about it." Everyone gives Frank a supportive smile, which he hesitantly returns.

"Well, now that we've all been introduced, we'll tell you guys what this club is all about," Rebecca starts.

"First things first: GSA stands for gender and sexualities alliance. I've also seen it as 'gay-straight alliance.' What that basically means is that all identities are welcome here," Jerry says.

Rebecca continues, "The goal of this club is simple: we want to provide a safe space for people on the LGBTQ spectrum and eliminate homophobia and transphobia at Seaford High."

"That means that if you guys have any ideas, like Pride-themed spirit weeks or conferences with teachers and counselors, you can let us know and we'll help you organize it."

"That also means that if you know anyone who's being mistreated or feels lonely based off of their identity, you can send them here, and we'll welcome them with open arms. Any questions?"

Grace answers, "It's not really a question, but I like the idea of a Pride spirit week. I think it'd be pretty fun, and I'm pretty sure I could help propose the idea to ASB."

"Oh, that's right!" Rebecca exclaims."You're the class VP, aren't you? In that case, do you guys want to start planning for a spirit week at our ext meeting?" The question is met with enthusiastic head nods and "yes"s. "Sounds good! Any other questions?"

One person ( _Casey, right?_ Jerry tries to remember) asks, "How can GSA support students who come from difficult home situations."

Rebecca looks at Jerry, who answers, "GSA is a community, and for students who come from homophobic and transphobic parents, we can help connect them to local resources and counselors. If the student is in immediate danger, there's not much more we can do besides call authorities and contact the school administrators. I hope this isn't the case, but if any of you, or anyone you guys know, is in immediate danger and they can't just wait it out, please let us or school faculty members know. Does that answer your question?"

Casey smiles. "Yeah, thanks."

When no one else asks any questions, Rebecca says, "Well, thank you all for coming. I know this was a pretty shot meeting, but it was the first one, after all. I look forward to seeing you guys next week, and bring some friends, if you'd like."

Jerry adds, "Be sure to take a cupcake on your way out!" Everyone circles the food table, eager to get more dessert. Rebecca and Jerry step back from the scene, evaluating."

"Not bad for the first meeting, co-pres," she comments.

"Not bad at all."

* * *

The week begins and ends in a blur, with classes ramping up in difficulty and karate practices becoming more frequent. Teachers are insistent that even though they're seniors, this year's class can't slack off after college acceptances. It's nearing the end of the year, though, and the only thing that's keeping students from slacking off is the fact that seniors can't participate in class events if their grades slip too much. It seems the only thing staving off senioritis is prom.

Soon, it's time for the next GSA meeting. The entire room is buzzing with a newfound energy from the upcoming dance. Grace has noticeably brought her ASB friends to the meeting.

"Alright everyone, welcome back! Thank you for coming to our second meeting!" Jerry starts. At the sound of his voice, everyone sits.

Rebecca continues with, "As you can tell, Grace has brought the spirit committee," the aforementioned group waves, "and today they'll be talking to us about how to make spirit weeks work well." The group tells the club different pointers, like using alliterative phrases and putting up colorful posters in the hall. Once they're done, Rebecca asks, "So, what are everyone's ideas on Spirit Week?"

"Well, prom is coming up soon, so one of the days definitely has to do with that," Jack says. Everyone nods their heads, and Jerry writes down the idea.

"I know it's not alliterative, but doing promposals on Friday would be _super_ cute," Kim comments.

"Sounds good! Any other ideas?" Jerry asks.

Frank chimes in with, "Maybe Trans Thursday? And people could wear colors of the trans pride flag?"

"Ooh, that's a great idea," Milton says. Jerry writes it down.

"What about Multi-color Monday? And people could wear rainbow clothes," Grace adds.

"Nice one! Okay, so that makes Monday, Thursday, and Friday, which means we still need Tuesday and Wednesday. Let's see..." she pauses for a bit, thinking. "Oh, how about Wave Your Flag Wednesday? It's pretty wordy, I know, but that way it invites people to wear colors of whatever pride flag they want. How do we feel about that?" She's met with agreement from the group. "Okay cool, that leaves Tuesday."

Jerry's the one to come up with an idea this time. "What if we did Top Dog Tuesday, where people dress up as queer celebrities? I wasn't too sure about that one, but I couldn't really think of anything else."

"I think it's a great idea!" Milton says. Jerry gives him a small grin.

"Thanks, Milty."

Rebecca begins the next part of the meeting. "Now that we have the spirit days, let's start making posters! I think having Spirit Week two weeks before prom works out, that way any people who participate on the promposal day will have time to organize outfits and stuff. If that time schedule sounds good to everyone, then we'll need to have these posters up three weeks before prom, to give everyone ample time to see the activities. That means we'll need to have these posters done by the end of the week. Is that alright with everyone?"

"Yeah, but quick question." Grace interjects.

"Shoot."

"Can we take these home to finish them?"

"Yeah, of course! Feel free to do whatever you need to do to finish them." After this statement, everybody gets to work, with around three or four people working on a poster. Soon, lunch is over and each group has decided who's taking home the poster. It's pretty well organized, Jerry thinks, and he's quite proud of it.

* * *

Two weeks later and it's Pride Spirit Week, which means...

 _Crap! Prom's coming up and I'm not ready!_ Jerry immediately calls Jack. He'll know what to do.

"Hey man, what's up?" Jack asks once the call picks up.

"I am _majorly_ freaking out dude! Prom is coming up soon, and I have no plans! You gotta help me out, man."

"No plans?" Jack asks, confused.

"I have no suit ready, no hairstyle picked out, and I don't even know if I'm gonna ask Milton out or if he's gonna ask me out! Usually the guy asks the girl, but we're _both_ dudes, what the fuck do I do?"

"Jerry, calm down, it's not that big a deal."

"No no no, it is a _very_ big deal." Jerry sighs. "Senior prom only happens once, and I want this to be a perfect night for us."

Jack pauses, then says, "You're right. If it's a big deal to you, then it's a big deal to me. Lemme help you out."

"Thank you so much," Jerry responds, relief clear in his voice.

"For the hair, I think you should wear a blowout, maybe? And it should definitely bring out your curls, Milton would love that. As for the suit, do you want to rent or own it?"

"Own, for sure. Oh, maybe my dad has one."

"Okay great! That's two issues solved."

"Yeah, but what about how I'm gonna ask Milton out. Or _if_ I'm gonna ask Milton out at all?"

"Honestly dude, no clue. You could always ask him, but that would ruin the surprise. Honestly, I would just wait until Friday, and see what happens. If neither of you does a promposal, I'm sure Milton wouldn't mind if you just asked, 'will you go to prom with me.' I know it's not as romantic as it could be, but Milton has always loved small gestures."

"You're right dude. Thanks for talking some sense into me."

"No problem, man. See you tomorrow?"

"See ya!" Jerry ends the call. Then he heads downstairs, where _Papa_ is watching TV.

" _Papa_ , do you have any tuxes I could borrow?" His papa smiles.

"I'm glad you asked, _mijo_."

* * *

Friday comes incredibly too quickly. It seems as if the closer they get to graduation, the faster time moves. It's terrifying, or at least it is to Jerry.

He comes to school wearing a slightly-nicer-than-average outfit just in case he gets "promposed" to. But, when Milton walks in without any posters or cards or _anything prom related_ , Jerry begins to doubt Jack's advice.

_Maybe I should've brought something. Oh God._

Milton doesn't look disappointed at Jerry's lack of supplies though. If anything, he has a spring in his step which, while nice to see, usually indicates that he's looking forward to something.

 _But what's he looking forward to?_ Jerry is confused, to say the least.

Milton eventually makes his was to Jerry, stopping right in front of him and placing a peck on his cheek. He warmly smiles at Jerry, who returns the gesture.

"So, you ready for the math test today?" Milton asks.

Jerry groans. "Not at _all_. I know your tutoring was fine, but what if I forget everything? I don't want to fail another math test."

"And you won't fail, because you're smarter than you think. When it comes time, you'll remember everything, I promise."

"Thanks, babe, I really needed that."

"Babe?" Jerry's eyes widen, and Milton's fill with mirth. "Don't worry, I like it. It was just unexpected."

Eventually the rest of the group arrives. (Kim and Jack were later than usual, but Kim's holding a giant teddy bear so he assumes Jack asked her to prom.) School begins shortly after, and they go their separate ways.

At lunch, they witness a plethora of promposals, each of them cute in their own ways. Jerry discreetly looks at Milton, who seems awed by the displays but not dejected that Jerry didn't bring one as well. _Yeah, Milton's definitely up to something_.

Actually, come to think of it, wasn't Jack the one who told him just to wait until Friday, to see if Milton would make a move? That _would_ be bad advice, unless Jack knew something was gonna happen on Friday. Which explains a lot. Jerry calms. _No wonder he said not to worry about this Friday._

Soon, school ends. Before Jerry can stop by the Club Room to talk about cleaning up their posters, Milton whisks him away. He shoots a quick text to Rebecca, then follows Milton outside where he sees

"A valet?!" A man with a suit and tie stands near an Audi with a sign that reads "Mr. Martinez." Jerry's eyebrows raise, and Milton smirks.

"Did you know you can request certain cars on Uber?" Jerry had no clue, but he's too dumbstruck by the fact that _Milton hired a fucking valet_ to answer. The boy in question laughs, links his arm through Jerry's and leads him to the car. Milton even opens the door for him.

Once they're both seated, the driver takes them to the scenic route towards the north part of the county. It's absolutely gorgeous, the California coast glistening from the rays of the sun.

The driver pulls up to a parking lot, and that's when Jerry realizes that he's taken them to a lakeside restaurant.

Milton hope out of the car and opens Jerry's door. "I hope that you don't mind this surprise date, but I needed the sun to go down a bit for this to work."

Jerry shyly smiles. "I don't mind. Thank you, for taking me here." Milton links their arms again and leads him to the restaurant.

"Reservation for Mr. Krupnick?" he says to the waiter. Jerry's face whips towards Milton. _Reservation? Just how much did he spend?_

_(Not much, he'll later confirm. His parents footed the bill, for the most part.)_

The waiter leads them up to the roof, which is completely empty save for a single table. With this view, they can see Lake Seaford for stretch for miles. The sun isn't quite setting yet, but its glow has softened a bit, and the warm light gently caresses Milton's face, bringing out his freckles and the green of his eyes.

Milton, put of the blue, comments, "You look absolutely beautiful." Jerry can't help but smile, only slightly blushing.

"So do you." He's pleased to see his cheeks redden, too.

Their dinner goes smoothly, the two boys talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Time passes slowly, for which Jerry couldn't be more happy.

It's when they're sharing dessert that Milton says, "Ooh, look at the sunset!"

Jerry turns towards the lake, where the sun is halfway set, orange and yellow reflecting off of the water. His gaze trails to the pier where there are... _twinkling lights? Is that what's happening?_

It takes Jerry a moment to realize that they're candles, and one by one they're being lit. He turns to Milton questioningly, to which Milton shrugs and offers, "Let's see what it says, I guess."

Jerry can tell that the first letter is P. He starts to see the candles being lit more rapidly, so soon and R follows. Then an O.

He gasps, turns towards Milton, and by the time he looks back the candles spell "Prom?" His jaw drops.

"So?" Milton asks. "Will you, Jerry Martinez, go to pr—"

"Yes! Oh my God yes!" Milton openly laughs at Jerry's enthusiasm.

"Someone's excited." They both giggle. "But I am too. Thank you, for letting me take you out tonight, and thank you for saying yes to prom with me."

* * *

It's Friday, the day before prom, and all the school has been able to talk about is which couple is gonna make prom King and Queen.

They placed their ballots in first period, and since then all he's heard is "it's gonna be Jack and Kim," and, "but what about Jerry and Milton?"

It's driving him crazy, to say the least. One the one hand, he doesn't really care who wins and just wants to have a good time, so the comments are a tiny bit annoying. On the other hand... now that Jerry knows he and Milton are an option, he kinda wants to win. Sue him.

 _When was the last time a gay couple won prom court at Seaford High_ _?_ He'd be willing to bet that it's never happened.

But, of course, if he doesn't win he'll still be happy to see Jack and Kim be prom King and Queen. They _are_ a cute couple, after all.

Just after the school day ends, Milton captures Jerry's attention.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow around 5. Do you wanna eat with Jack and Kim before the dance?"

"Like a double date? Sounds good!" Jerry responds.

"Alrighty, see you then."

Jerry softly kisses him. "I love you."

"Love you too, Jerry," he responds with a saccharine smile.

* * *

It's Saturday afternoon, 4 pm, and _Papa_ is just getting back from the tailor. Once Jerry chose one of his suits, his papa told him he could have it, and made sure to get the outfit specifically fitted for him.

"¿ _Niño, qué opinas?"_

"It's perfect, _Papa. ¡Gracias! **"**_

Jerry takes the article in question and gently lays it over his bed. He takes a quick shower, washes his hair, and heads downstairs.

" _Mami,_ I washed my hair, can you style it now?"

His mama sits on the couch with her hair supplies, and Jerry sits on the ground right in front of her. She quickly but precisely styles his hair into a straight blowout, then trims his dead ends. Next, she lightly spritzes his hair with warm water, to bring out his curls a bit. She applies a bit of curl product to eliminate the frizz.

With a pat on the back, she says, "Go see." Jerry heads to the downstairs bathroom to look in the mirror.

 _It's perfect_ , he thinks, and tells _Mama_ so.

He heads back to his room and starts getting changed into the tux when he hears the door open. _Must be Milton._

The tux Jerry chose is simple. It's white with black accents, and comes with a red bow tie. It's clean, sharp, and matches wonderfully with his warm skin tone.

Just before he leaves his room, Jerry uses a little cologne. He takes one final deep breath before heading downstairs.

He sees Milton, speaking with his parents, with his little sisters hanging off his every word.

Milton turns towards Jerry, which allows him to get a better look at his outfit. He's wearing a black tuxedo with white accents, the inverse of Jerry's, but he _also_ has a little red bowtie.

With a smile, Milton asks, "Ready to go?"

They meet Jack and Kim at Pieology which, while not super romantic, _is_ super good. The conversation is light as the friends savor one.of the biggest nights in their highschool experience. After dinner, they head to the prom venue, a beach side dance hall.

Once they get there and turn in their dance tickets, Jerry leads them to the dance floor.

"I know you're not much of a party guy, but dance with me?"

"Of course," Milton responds, and then they dance. They dance, and eat, and laugh, and talk with friends, and have a great time under the lights.

Eventually, the DJ stops the music. The ASB president walks over to the DJ booth and announces into the microphone: " It's time to see who won prom King and Queen!"

The crowd cheers, and the curtains at the front of the hall separate to reveal... _four thrones?_ The crowd murmurs in confusion.

"Now I know you may be wondering why there are too many thrones, but for the first time in Seaford High history, we have a tie!"

The crowd's conversation gets slightly louder, only to be silenced when the president says, "May I get a drumroll please?"

The crowd obliges, a low rumbling filling the room.

"The first prom King is... Jack Brewer!" The crowd cheers. "And his prom Queen is... Kim Crawford!" Loud clapping and hollers fill the room as Jack escorts Kim to the first set of thrones.

"Now, for our second couple! Our prom King is... Milton Krupnick! And our other prom King is... Jerry Martinez!" Milton shares a look with Jerry, and they walk arm in arm to the second set of thrones as the crowd wildly cheers. Grace, the vice president, places crowns of their heads and Jerry recognizes that this is _real_. It's his last year in high school and he's prom King, co-nominated with the boy _(boy!)_ of his dreams. Jerry tears up a bit. _God_ , time moves quickly. It feels like just yesterday Jerry took his first steps into high school as a freshman. And now... now he's a senior, and his time here is almost up, and he's surrounded by his best friends and the love of his life, in a position he never expected to be in just three years ago.

Somewhere in the background, the ASB president says something about the first slow dance of the night, but Jerry isn't paying attention, not really. He's too busy looking at Miton, seeing his fears and hopes, expectations and aspirations reflected in his eyes. Jerry reaches over his throne, linking his boyfriend's pinkie with his own. Milton's mouth tugs upwards; his own does the same.

The song starts, something soft and mellow. Jerry vaguely recognizes it but can't be bothered to think of the name, not when Milton is looking at him with so much _love_ , so much _passion_.

Milton rises from his seat, offering a hand to Jerry. He's escorted to the dance floor where Jack and Kim stand, waiting for them. With a shared, emotional smile, the two couples begin slow dancing.

Jerry, being just barely shorter than Milton, is the one to wrap his arms around his boyfriend's neck, as Milton wraps his around Jerry's torso. They sway, stars in their eyes, as the singer croons of eternal love. Milton hums along and _damn_ , it makes Jerry so emotional. He rests his head on Milton's chest, closes his eyes, and feels the rumbling of his humming, the beating of his heart. Milton holds him closer, and _damn it all_ , now Jerry really is crying. _(He told himself he wouldn't get emotional, it's just a school dance. But, well, maybe he can forgive himself, especially because he hears Milton's tears_ plop _on his suit jacket.)_

After the song ends, the DJ plays more slow songs for the whole crowd to dance to. Jerry, Milton, Jack and Kim he's outside after the third slow song, heading to the rooftop patio.

They lie on the roof, concrete still warm from the sunlight hours, stars twinkling above their heads. A crisp nighttime breeze flows as the waves crash against the shoreline.

The silence is broken with Jack's whispered statement, "God, can you even believe that we're almost adults? Time went by way too quickly."

Jerry reflects on this, then snorts.

"What?" Milton asks.

"Nothing. I was just remembering when Jack rode his skateboard through the dojo wall."

"God, I was so dumb back then." They laugh.

"Remember when we went LARPing? That was pretty fun."

"If fun means getting porcupine quills shot at your face, then sure." Jerry's retort makes Kim chortle.

"What about that time when we played with the Globetrotters?"

"Oh yeah, and Rudy's face was all orange. What was up with that?"

Milton responds, "I don't know, and I didn't think it was appropriate to ask."

"How is Eddie, anyways?" Jack wonders. "It's been a few weeks since I talked to him."

"Oh, he says he's been doing pretty good! He's planning on staying in California to go to school, so maybe we can all meet up one day in college," Kim answers.

It's silent for a while. Then, "Do you guys remember when I made it on the football team? I can't believe they let me on!"

Jerry smiles. "I can't believe you left! I mean come on, they served you lobster. _Lobster_ , dude!"

Milton giggles. "Don't call me dude when we're dating, weirdo." He pecks Jerry's nose.

It's quiet once more, and the song from inside floats on the midnight breeze, warbled and muted. It's starting to get a little colder now, but no one is bothered by it. Jack gives Kim his blazer. Jerry jokingly offeres his to Milton, who shakes his head in playful exasperation.

Jerry sighs. It's been a crazy year, an even crazier high school experience. On the one hand, he almost want to stay in this moment, surrounded by friends— no, family. He's almost afraid to move on.

But... on the other hand...

Jerry's pretty happy with how things turned out. He knows there's no point in ruminating on the past, and even if he could relive this experience, he doesn't think he would.

 _Maybe_ , he thinks, _just maybe, I'm ready to move on._

And deep down, he knows he is. His time here is up, and it's time for the next phase of his, of all of their, lives. Sure, he's a little anxious of what the future might hold, but he's more excited about the journey he'll take to get there.

Jerry smiles, a lone tear slipping down his cheek. Milton gently brushes it away with his thumb. He gives Jerry a questioning look, as if to ask _are you okay?_ Jerry responds with a kiss on the cheek.

He grabs Milton's hand, stares at the constellations, and softly proclaims, "I love you, Milton Krupnick."

Milton's grip tightens, and his next words are spoken with a watery voice.

_"And I love you, Jerry Martinez."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys remember that episode where Frank was in a tutu? It wasn't a major plot point or anything, more of a small scene for comedic relief, but I totally feel like I hallucinated it. Maybe it was a fever dream lmao. Anyways, my head took that idea and ran with it, so here we are.
> 
> Also, for my last chapter, what do you guys want to see? A peek into their college lives? Maybe you want to see the gang as adults? How about graduation? (Or all three, but an update might take a bit longer for that option.) Let me know and I'll be happy to write it!
> 
> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to see you guys in the next one. I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy during this time, and my love goes out to you all.
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


	14. the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerry and Milton, through the years. An epilogue, of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! I'm so sorry this took so long; I've been caught up with COVID- and BLM-related concerns. Thank you all for being patient with me (God, I sound like a broken record), and I hope you enjoy this final chapter!

It's the end of the school year, the sun is shining, and June beetles are flying about. The cap and gown that Jerry's wearing makes everything muggy and uncomfortable, but he supposes the fresh sea breeze helps out, at least a little bit. Principal Funderburk has been giving an uncharacteristically long speech, but hey, it's not everyday you get to congratulate a class of graduation seniors. Every now and then, the principal will say something weird enough that Jerry tries to give one of his friends _the look_. Unfortunately, seating is alphabetical, so he and Jack have to inconspicuously shift around in their seats just to make eye contact. Fortunately, he and Milton don't sit too far apart. Milton _does_ give Jerry playfully disapproving looks when he laughs, though. Jerry keeps it up anyways. Milton's not that good at hiding his smiles.

Principal Funderburk concludes his greeting speech by saying, "I'd now like to introduce to the stage Seaford High's valedictorian: Milton Krupnick!" The crowd cheers wildly for him as he gracefully steps onto the stage. After adjusting the microphone to his liking, he begins his speech.

"Hey everyone! I'm so honored to be here today, giving this speech to you all. I'll try to make this short so we can all get outta here. Personally, this has simultaneously felt like the longest and shortest four years, and I'm sure you'll all agree. I hope you'll also agree that these four years have been the most fun and exciting years of our lives. It seems like just yesterday we were wide-eyed freshmen, exploring the halls of this new, huge, and somewhat scary campus with bated breaths and unnecessarily large backpacks." The crowd laughs. "And now, four years later, here we are. Sitting in our caps and gowns, reflecting on the time we spent here, with each other. Through the trials we've faced in ninth grade, we've grown stronger together. We've met new people and made new friends, and we've learned to bring people together instead of pushing them apart. Together, we turned a school into a home, and we've made strangers into family.

"This diploma is about our achievement, sure, but it's also about the path we took to get here. This piece of paper represents our stories, our feelings, our wins and losses. It's about our journey from kindergarten to senior year, about our transition from childhood to adulthood. We should be proud of everything we've done to get to this point, and this diploma reminds us of that. But it also means something else. See, this paper is also our key into the real world. We must use the lessons we've learned throughout the years to grow and mature as adults, to develop ourselves, and to contribute to our community, our world.

"I'd like to end the speech with a quote from my favorite TV show, Curious George." Some students giggle, others smile wistfully. "'The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it and let your curiosity lead you.' As we leave high school today, I want you all to remember this: It doesn't matter what your GPA is, or how popular you are, or what university you're going to. As long as you keep your friends close and let curiosity and love lead the way, you'll always be right where you need to be. Thank you for giving me the best high school experience I could've ever asked for. I'll support you all endlessly, and I look forward to seeing all of you thrive in life. Thank you." The crowd cheers wildly, and a few even brush some tears away. The principal shakes his hand and Milton returns to his seat.

"And now," Principal Funderburk starts, "I will begin handing out diplomas. As I call your name, please walk to the stage, where I will hand you your diploma. First up: Sidney Adams!" The crowd respectfully claps as he walks. Jerry zones out until he hears, "... Brewer!"

"WOOO! Let's GO!" Jerry yells. He and Jack cackle at the Vice Principal's mildly disappointed facial expression.

There are a few people in between Jack and Kim, and Jerry politely claps for them. When her name is called, Jerry shouts, "YEAH KIM!" He looks around and, surprisingly, sees Grace clapping with a wide smile on her face. Jerry supposes that the two are no longer frenemies. _Good for them_ , he thinks.

Jerry's stomach starts fluttering. _Oh God, I'm next_. As much as he's ready for this moment, it's still emotional. He feels nostalgic, getting ready to leave his home for the last few years, but also eager to explore the adult world with his friends. His leg bounces up and down nervously, teeth gently gnawing on his lower lip.

Entirely too soon, Principal Funderburk calls, "Jerry Martinez!" The crowd erupts in cheers, but most noticeable of them all is Milton's, "I LOVE YOU JERRY!" Jerry blushes furiously, chuckles under his breath. _I can do this_. He walks up to the stage, takes a deep breath, and sticks his hand out. The principal takes his hand, and out of range of the microphone he says, "You've done great, Jerry. I'm proud of you." After a firm shake, Principal Funderburk hands him a diploma and a pat on the back. Jerry walks off stage, feeling like the whole situation is unreal. His grin is almost manic with how wide it is, but he can't help it. _I just graduated high school_ _!_

A few more people receive diplomas and then it's Milton's turn. Before the principal can even finish his boyfriend's last name, Jerry screams, "I LOVE YOU TOO, MILTON!" Milton's face lights up with joy; so does Jerry's.

After the last diploma is handed out, everyone is sitting in their seats, buzzing with anticipation. Principal Funderburk announces, "I now present to you: the Class of 2013!" Everyone celebrates, moves their tassels over from the right to the left side of the graduation cap. "The last thing you guys will do as seniors is recite our fight song. You guys ready?" The crowd cheers. "Alright. Ready, go!"

In a single, unifying voice, the class sings, "Spout your blowholes in the morning, spout your blowholes in the night! Spout your blowholes in the morning; Seaford Whales let's fight, fight, fight! GO WHALES!" As the last voice rings, everyone stands and throws their caps in the air.

 _To freedom,_ Jerry thinks, _and to the good times we've had._

He smiles.

* * *

It's fall now, and even though students only showed up a week ago, campus life at Boston Conservatory is buzzing. He applied under a choreography degree program at the beginning of last school year, and he was elated when he was accepted. Even now, he's still somewhat surprised, but grateful, that they accepted him. Everyone around him is super artsy, but not many were stuck up. Actually, most of the people he's met so far have been really kind, if not a bit eclectic.

An added benefit is that the school is only a 10 minute drive from MIT, which is where Milton's going. They've made a pact to meet up on weekends, but not to interfere with the others' social life during the week. Jerry didn't think it would be that big of a deal, but Milton insists that they spend some time away from each other so they can focus on schoolwork, make new friends, and avoid getting tired of one another. It makes sense, so he doesn't argue.

After a few months, Jerry realizes that Milton was actually right. As a dance major, his coursework isn't hard, but he's sure that Milton, a bioengineering major, needs all the time he can get to study. But, every weekend, they take time to relax together. It's pretty stress relieving. Jerry's made some new friends, but none of them are as cool as Jack, Kim, or Milton. They all understand and accept that, though, even if he doesn't explicitly tell them. His new friends are from super diverse backgrounds, so he's been able to learn more about cultural differences, and they've taught him how to solve problems with different approaches. That's one major difference Jerry's noticed about college: Everyone is so _different_ , and being on campus really gives you the chance to explore that difference. It's a beautiful thing.

Oh, and the whole "not getting tired of each other" thing? Well, Jerry's almost certain he never would've gotten annoyed with Milton in the first place, but they still haven't fought at all. The only major spat they've had was whether Star Wars or Marvel is better. It should've been resolved easily with an "agree to disagree," but both of them are stubborn to a fault. They didn't talk to each other for three days out of pure pettiness, but then the weekend came and they both profusely apologized for being annoyed by such a small matter.

The only downside to being on the East Coast is not being able to see Jack and Kim during the school year. Jack went to CSU Los Angeles to get a business degree, and Kim's studying under UC Irvine's nursing program. It's not too bad, he reasons, because he can still see them on vacation. Besides, he'd rather be in Massachusetts with Milton.

All in all, college life is pretty good.

* * *

For summer break, they meet up in Seaford. Jerry always remembered his hometown being action-packed and busy, but after taking a few weekend trips to New York, he now sees it as a small, sleepy little beach side town. It's sweet and homely, the perfect place to buy a house and raise kids.

...

_House?! Kids?! I'm not even married! I'm still in college!_ Jerry shakes his head to get rid of the intrusive thoughts. _Ay, dios mio._

At the airport, he and Milton wait by the luggage carousel. They took a morning flight, so both of them are extremely tired and jet-lagged. After waiting about five minutes, their bags show up. Jerry grabs both of them before Milton can take his. The red head weakly protests, but he's too tired to put up much of a fight. Instead, he calls an Uber for the both of them as they walk outside.

A short car ride later and they arrive at the Krupnick's home. They decided to surprise Milton's family first, since they're least likely to make the two of them eat and sleep.

The car pulls up to the house, and Milton and Jerry stroll to the front door. After two firm knocks, Jerry can hear some commotion inside. Mrs. Krupnick opens the door and confusedly asks, "Who is it?" Her eyes widen. "Milton David Krupnick! I didn't know you were coming back! And you brought Jerry, how wonderful!" She pulls them inside and gives both of them big hugs.

Mr. Krupnick comes downstairs to see the three of them in a group hug, which he proceeds to join. Mrs. Krupnick turns the kettle on, and after she returns to the living room the four of them talk about school and work and recent community events. They chat over a cup of tea and some tea cookies. The Krupnicks aren't British, but it's a habit the family picked up after the trip to Scotland. Jerry likes it, and he kinda wants to bring that tradition into his own home.

After a few hours of talking, the couple excuses themselves to go over to the Martinez's home. They promise to visit the Krupnicks again before heading back to the East Coast before heading over to see Jerry's family.

Before Jerry opens the door, he hears his family inside. His sisters are fighting over what to watch on the TV, _Papa_ is trying to mediate the situation, and, if he listens closely, he can hear _Mama_ singing in the kitchen. Jerry grins. As much as he loves independence, he misses his family.

He lifts the potted plant that sits by the door frame and picks up the spare key that sat below it. Gently, he turns the lock and opens the door.

His sisters are the first ones to spot him. " _¡_ _Hermano!_ Milton!" Valentina shouts. The girls swarm to them, hugging Milton first, then Jerry.

" _¡_ _Niño!_ You didn't tell me you were coming back!" his papa exclaims.

 _Mama_ comes out from the kitchen with, " _Ay, corazon_ , when'd you arrive? I would've picked you up from the airport!" His parents join the hug.

Luckily, Jerry's mama always cooks as if she's feeding an army. She's making some tomatillo chicken soup with homemade tortillas, and after half an hour it's ready to eat. The family sits at the dinner table, says grace, and then eats lunch as Jerry and Milton recount their university experiences. It's good to have a home cooked meal, rather than eat instant ramen for the umpteenth time.

After lunch, the two head to Jerry's old room to chill. He's touched to see that none of his things were moved. Neither of them are tired now that they've had lunch, so they search for things to do. First, they play a few rounds of California Speed, then they play Minecraft for a few hours, and before they know it, it's dinner time. They eat some more soup and tortillas, chat some more with the family.

At bedtime, they don't bother sorting out the sleeping situation. Rather, they both sleep in Jerry's bed. Milton's foot dangles off of the side because he's just so tall, but Jerry still fits perfectly. He could've sworn he grew at least an inch. It's kinda difficult to be angry about that, though, because he's being spooned by his boyfriend.

Jerry reflects on his day, grateful to have seen his family again. He thinks about everything they have planned for the vacation, and then sets his thoughts to the future. After college, would the two of them come back here, maybe get a little apartment by the beach? Or maybe they'd stay in the Northeast. After all, New York _is_ the choreographer's dream. What would Milton want?

"I can hear you thinking," Milton whispers. With a soft chuckle, he continues, "Go to sleep."

"Alright."

Milton gives him a gentle kiss on the back of the head, and Jerry drifts off into slumber.

The next day, the couple heads to the beach to meet Jack and Kim. Jack is trying (and failing) to light the charcoals in his grill when they show up. Jerry teases him for it.

"It's the wind, I swear!" Jack responds. Kim takes the lighter from him and, in one try, effortlessly starts the fire. She cackles at Jack's dismayed facial expression before placating him.

"It's okay, I know you're still a big, strong macho man." Jack pouts and playfully brushes her off. 

Jack grills some fish, and while it's cooking the four of them catch up. They've called and Skyped each other in the past, but Jerry's glad to see them in person after so long. After eating, they play ultimate Frisbee in the sand. Later in the day, Jack and Jerry go surfing while Kim and Milton suntan and gossip. As the sun sets, they light up a bonfire pit and roast marshmallows for s'mores. By the end of the day, Jerry feels whole again. It's a nice feeling.

Eventually, summer break ends and the boys have to go back to Massachusetts. Now that they're no longer freshmen, they can stay in off-campus housing. They rent a tiny studio apartment, one bed and one bath, but it's enough for them. Rent isn't super cheap, but it's not terribly expensive either. Both of them have jobs on-campus, and with their combined income it's just enough to pay rent. They're lucky that their landlord is gracious, and that their respective universities cover the cost of food.

They've made it a habit to wake up together and chat over a cup of tea in the morning, just like Mr. and Mrs. Krupnick did. Jerry has more free time than Milton does, so whenever he gets the chance to, he tries to make a nice meal like _Mama_. It's not always successful, but every time he tries Milton says he loves it. They've made a domestic routine out of the hectic nature of higher education, and Jerry couldn't be happier. If he wasn't already sure that Milton was _the one_ , this would've proved it.

* * *

Their lives aren't picture perfect, though. As the school year progresses, they become more distant. Milton's increasingly challenging workload has caused him to become snappy, almost rude. He constantly brushes him off when all Jerry wants is to cuddle, he rarely kisses Jerry before going to class, and recently he's been missing tea time with no fucking explanation. Jerry knows it's just because he's frustrated, but it still hurts to be treated badly by his boyfriend.

Jerry's not completely innocent either. He puts in more and more hours at the studio each week, which he swears isn't intentional. _It's for my degree_ , he justifies.

It's just... Jerry doesn't particularly _want_ to be around and angry Milton, especially when he refuses to see that he's hurting the person he loves.

Then, doubt strikes Jerry's heart.

_Does he even love me?_

Eventually, the tension between them becomes too thick, too unbearable. It all comes to a head one morning during tea time. They stare down at the table, refusing to make eye contact, jaws clenched and muscles rigid. Jerry whispers, "Do you even love me anymore?" He can't bring himself to look up.

Milton leaves the table.

 _He leaves_.

Jerry misses class that day, and the two of them don't talk for fifteen days.

On the sixteenth day, Milton comes back from wherever the fuck he was staying with a bouquet of flowers. Jerry seethes.

Before he can even get a word out, Jerry shouts, "Fuck you, Milton! You think you can treat me like shit for no reason, leave me, and then come back with flowers and magically solve everything?! You didn't call me, you didn't text me, you couldn't even talk to me face-to-face, you _coward_! I can't believe you! Actually, I can't even believe I cried over you, you absolute dickhe--"

"I'm sorry," Milton interrupts.

"You're _sorry_? Is that all you have to say for yourself?"

"Let me finish! I'm sorry that I've been such an asshole to you. Even when I neglected you, you still tried to reach out to me. I pushed you away and hurt you terribly. I realize now that I was acting like a bad boyfriend, and it wasn't right. I regret every moment of it, and I apologize."

"Did you regret when you walked away from me, that day at the table." Jerry says this as tears stream down his face, voice shaky and barely controlled.

Milton sighs. "Jerry, I... I walked away because I was so _ashamed_ of what I did, how I made you feel. I thought maybe you needed space or--"

"How the hell would you know if I needed space?! You didn't talk to me at all! _You_ don't get to make decisions for _us_ , that's not how this works! We're a _team,_ Milton, we're supposed to trust one another and _talk through things_."

Finally, Milton breaks down in tears. Instead of feeling satisfied, though, Jerry feels guilty. Sure, he has every right to get mad, but he realizes that taking it out on Milton doesn't solve any issues.

Hesitantly, Jerry walks closer to Milton. He wraps his arms around the red head's torso and rests his head on his chest. Milton drops the flowers and embraces Jerry, settling his chin in the crook of Jerry's neck. He can feel Milton's tears dropping on his shoulder.

They stand like this for a while, relearning the pattern of each other's heartbeats, feeling the unsteady breaths they take. _It's been too long_ , Jerry thinks.

After the tears stop and their breaths stop hiccuping, they separate.

In the quiet of their apartment, Milton asks, "Where do we go from here?"

Jerry honestly answers, "I don't know. But I do know that we're not over, our story isn't done yet. There's so much that I want to see and experience with you, and I don't want to let this, this _thing_ stop us. I don't know how we get back to normal, but I know that I care about you, and if we love each other enough, we'll find a way."

An unspoken question lingers in the air. Milton answers it. "I _do_ love you, Jerry. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

Little by little, things return to normal. The first couple weeks feels like they're walking on eggshells around each other, but eventually they go back to their old habits. And, as much as Jerry hates that they had to fight to get to this point, he appreciates that they communicate more. It helps both of them de-stress, and it brings them closer than ever before. Jerry supposes that every relationship is bound to hit some obstacle, but he's glad that they were strong enough to overcome. He loves Milton too much to let him go, and now that they're talking to each other again, he's confident that Milton's on the same page as him.

 _We'll be alright_.

* * *

College flies by, and eventually they're adults. Like, _adult_ adults. Being done with school (for Jerry, at least. Milton's not sure if he wants to get another degree yet.), Jerry realizes that he has to make decisions now. Seaford or Cambridge, apartment or house, well-paying job or a fulfilling one, and the list goes _on, and on, and_ _on_. It's driving him insane. Surprisingly, _this_ is what stresses him out. Not college-level math, not his make-or-break performance for his degree, not rent for their apartment, not even student loans! It just feels like life is coming at him too quickly when he's not ready.

He groans and hits his head on the table. _Ugh, adulthood._

Milton notices this and hugs him from behind. Jerry can feel the vibrations from his chest when Milton asks, "What's up?"

"What are we gonna do?!" Milton rubs circles into Jerry's temples and hums.

"Ah, existentialism?" Jerry humorlessly laughs. "Unclench your jaw, babe, just relax a bit. We just finished college, we deserve a break."

"But we have so many _decisions_ ," Jerry whines.

"And we'll make them when the time comes. But right now, we can just chill." Neither of them miss the irony in the fact that Milton was the one telling Jerry to "chill."

As Milton continues his ministration, Jerry's eyes flutter closed. _When did I get so damn_ tired?

Milton says, "It's too early to think about all this, let's go back to bed, take a little nap." Jerry follows Milton into their room and flops on the bed, causing Milton to snort. "So dramatic."

When Jerry wakes up again, he sees Milton leaving their bathroom, fully dressed. He shoots his boyfriend a bemused look.

"Oh good, you're awake! Get dressed, I'm taking you somewhere nice." Jerry tries to remember if it's their anniversary, or maybe one of their birthdays, but he comes up blank. Looking up from his phone, Milton says, "The Uber will be here in about fifteen minutes." Jerry gets up and picks out an outfit that screams "business casual." Given Milton's choice of clothing, he assumes they're not going anywhere terribly fancy. He comes back out wearing a lavender button-up and a nice pair of dark jeans. He somehow managed to coerce his hair to change from bedhead to presentable, which is a miracle in and of itself.

Milton looks him up and down as he adjusts his cuffs. "I feel like I don't say this often enough, but you look _really hot_." Jerry ducks his head, hiding his blush. Leave it to Milton to make him blush like they're still in high school.

When the driver shows up, Milton opens the door for Jerry with an, "After you." Throughout the whole ride, Jerry tries to guess where they're going, but Milton won't budge. The ride is fairly short, only about seven minutes, so he can safely rule out the MoMA from his guesses. (He's been meaning to take Milton there, but it's a little far away.) That still doesn't narrow down his guesses, but it doesn't matter, because they arrive at the building pretty quickly.

Once he sees it, Jerry knows exactly where they are. "You took me to the Boston Dance Theater?" he asks in disbelief. He's always loved watching their dances online, in awe of the music and the fluidity of the dancers.

Milton sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's... we haven't had a proper date in a while, and I know how much you look up to these choreographers, so I brought us here." Jerry kisses Milton's jaw in appreciation and is delighted to see him blush.

Like an excited child, Jerry pulls Milton and chants, "Let's go, let's go!"

Milton chuckles. "Okay!" After Milton presents their e-tickets tickets to the concierge, the two walk hand-in-hand into the theater. After a few minutes, the lights dim and a spotlight shines on the stage. As soon as the first dancer enters, Jerry's captivated. The way the dancers move, with love and passion and emotion, tells such a fascinating story. It's so expressive, and Jerry is simultaneously jealous of and in love with Goecke, the choreographer. About fifteen minutes in, he turns to Milton, about to ask _Are you seeing this?_ when he notices that Milton's staring at him. It's familiar to Jerry. In a second, it clicks. This is the same look they shared at the planetarium, the same gaze from prom, the same glance from their first pride parade, the same stare from their first time making love. It goes deeper than infatuation, deeper than love. It's this _feeling_ , this _connection_ , this innate understanding of each others' bodies, minds, hopes, dreams, and it's been too long since they've shared one of these looks.

_Yeah, I'm gonna marry this man._

* * *

A few weeks later, after sitting down and having a conversation with Milton, they make a few decisions. In two days, they take a plane back to Seaford. (And yes, they did tell their parents this time.) Once settling down back home, Jerry applies for an entry-level position at the new dance studio in the mall. A week-and-a-half later and he gets the job.

Milton takes a little longer to secure a job, but not because of his merits. Given that he's now an MIT alum, his degree is very valuable within the biomechanical engineering world. It's more a matter of location and salary for him, which sounds very shallow, but in California, those two aspects of job hunting are incredibly important.

After the couple uses their remaining savings to secure a deposit on a studio near the mall, Milton begins job hunting in earnest. He doesn't mind having to take public transportation to work, at least not for the first few years. But, he figures, the closer the lab, the better. In three weeks, he gets a call back from a company just twenty minutes from the apartment. He aces the second interview, and within a month he's a regular, full-time employee.

* * *

Years pass, and during that time Jerry's worked his way up to the head instructor of the dance studio. He's been working on getting a business degree online, so that one day he can own his own studio. Milton also made a name for himself at his job, working under the head scientist at the firm. They've saved up enough for a home, but they're not currently interested in buying one.

Over the years, they've continued their tradition of tea time in the mornings, and now that Jerry determines his own hours, he can come home early and make meals for Milton (with his mom on Skype, of course). Their anniversary is coming up soon, and with the help of Jack, Kim, and Milton's parents, Jerry's picked out the perfect ring.

Oh yeah, and he's planning on proposing to Milton soon. It'll be at the planetarium, their first date location, and it'll be cute, and he'll say yes, and _no, Jerry is not scared at all, thankyouverymuch._

On the evening of their anniversary, Jerry blindfolds Milton and leads him to the passenger seat of the rental car. Milton patiently waits, making mild small talk about work as they drive away from the city. In no time, they arrive. When Jerry undoes the blindfold, Milton gasps.

With a growing smile, he mentions, "This is where we went all those years ago."

Jerry matches his expression. "Don't say it like that, we'll sound old." They walk into the building, Jerry's arm around Milton's waist, with the little black box in his back pocket. Together they watch the stars. Or, rather, Milton watches the stars. Jerry watches him, his maybe-soon-to-be-fiance, as the stars reflect the wonder in his eyes the way they did back in high school. He gulps, wipes his hands on his pants.

Questioningly, Milton looks at him. _Now_.

Jerry holds Milton's hands, says, "Milton, from the first time I met you, I knew we'd always be together. I'll admit, I didn't think we'd be together _romantically_ , but I'm so glad that we are. I'm so grateful that you took a chance on me in high school, that we pushed through every boundary we faced, that we made it this far. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, to raise kids and grow old together." He sinks to one knee. Milton gasps, and tears well up in his eyes. "Milton David Krupnick, will you make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?"

It takes all of one second before Milton says, "Yes, yes of course!" with a watery voice. Before Jerry can stand up fully, Milton nearly tackles him in a hug. They separate, but only long enough for Milton to wrap his arms around him and kiss him.

They don't hear the cheers from the other patrons that night, nor do they notice the _flash-click_ of cameras. They're in their own little bubble, surrounded by love and endless possibilities. Jerry's on top of the fucking world.

* * *

Their wedding is at Treasure Island Beach, because Jerry just can't help but be a sappy romantic. All of their friends are in attendance, as well as some close acquaintances from high school, college, and work. Jack is Jerry's best man, of course, and Kim is Milton's maid of honor. Their immediate family is there, but neither of Jerry or Milton's extended family shows up. Being from Catholic households, most of their relatives look down on their relationship. Neither of them take it too harshly; they're both successful, happy, and in love. Who could ask for more?

As Milton's dad walks his fiance down the aisle, Jerry pinches his lips together to avoid outright sobbing at his own wedding. He can't help but let some tears fall because Milton looks so gorgeous in that white suit, and it's just now occurring to Jerry that this is real, that he's really marrying the man of his dreams, that they've come this far and now they'll spend the rest of their lives together.

As Milton approaches the altar, Jerry can see that he's crying, too. It makes him feel a little bit better.

They say their vows, Jerry only having to pause and collect himself once. (Milton didn't fare as well; he stopped three times.) Then comes the "I do"s, and their first kiss, and holy shit, Jerry feels like a train wreck of emotion, in the best way possible.

_I just got fucking married!_

* * *

They honeymoon at Catalina Island, in a little AirBnB near the hills. It's near the main town, which makes it easy to drop by and do some grocery shopping and sightseeing. It's also pretty quiet and secluded, which is nice for... other activities.

They spend almost a month there, taking the time to relax and explore each other, both physically and emotionally. Jerry thinks he wouldn't mind retiring here.

* * *

Both of them attend Jack and Kim's wedding, of course. Not long afterwards, the two of them announce that they're expecting. This sends a wave of baby fever to the Krupnick-Martinez household.

The two of them make the decision to buy a house, and since they've been saving up for so long, they propose a down payment for a car at their local dealership, too. They get a Prius because it's "environmentally-conscious, _Jerry,_ " but Jerry still thinks they should've gotten a Jeep. He's willing to submit, however, because he was admittedly very picky about the homes they looked at.

Adopting a kid is the next step. The two of them decide to wait until the Brewer's kid gets a little older, so that their kids can be friends. Once their son Leo turns three, Jerry and Milton begin the adoption process. It's a little bit tedious and it takes over a year, because even though they live in California, certain laws make it difficult for same-sex couples to adopt. They decide to go the foster care route, to give deserving kids a better chance at life. They absolutely fall in love with a cute little four year old at the center, and after they meet his protective, thirteen year old "older brother," they decide to adopt both of them.

Adam, the four year old, is just the sweetest thing. He loves coloring and cuddling, two things that Jerry can fully get behind. The thirteen year old, Chris, is a little bit of a geek. He _loves_ Star Trek (Jerry makes a note to turn him into a Star _Wars_ fanatic) and excels in math. But, he's also pretty athletic. In fact, he's one the starting power forward for the middle school's basketball team. The two kids get used to the new space and to their new dads, and soon "Mr. Milton" and "Mr. Jerry" become "Daddy" and "Papa."

The school year rolls in, and it's an incredibly emotional day when they have to send their kids to the first day of kindergarten _and_ the first day of high school. Milton unashamedly cries, to which Chris says, "Oh come on Dad, we haven't known each other that long. This _can't_ be _that_ serious."

Jerry snorts, but defends his husband. "Oh come on, don't be like that. Let us have our moment." Chris playfully rolls his eyes, so Jerry ruffles his hair right before sending him through the front gates of Seaford High. Next, they drop off Adam, who clings to Milton's legs, nearly crying. Jerry squats down to his level.

"Hey little man, don't be afraid! The teacher here is super nice, you'll love her. And, you'll get to meet new friends and do lots of coloring, and when we come to pick you up you'll be having so much fun you won't even want to leave. How's that sound?"

Adam sniffles. "Good." Jerry holds his hand out for a high-five, which makes Adam smile. He slaps his papa's palm, gives his daddy one last hug, and walks into the classroom. Jerry absolutely does _not_ cry in the car.

The kids come home raving about their day. Adam was delighted to do a color-cut-glue project with his new friends, and he thinks his teacher was so cool. Which, to be fair, she really is. In fact, Jerry and Milton specifically chose that school because Rebecca taught kindergarten there. Chris chats about Cross Country try-outs, as conditioning for basketball season. He also mentions that he made friends really easily, despite being new to the school district. He's particularly excited about this one friend, though, who he says is, "super cool and athletic, and he's _so tall_ but I'm not even jealous because he's just that cool," and, "I hope he joins the basketball team with me!" Jerry and Milton share a _look_ , which makes Chris say, "Hey, knock it off!" While trying to hide a blush.

As the school year progresses, Adam has more play dates than he ever imagined and Chris' "tall, athletic male-friend" stays over a suspicious amount of times. Neither parent directly references it, but Jerry _does_ give Chris the safe-sex talk.

_(But why?_

_Because if I had to hear it from my mom, you have to hear it from me.)_

By the end of the school year, Adam has decided that he wants to be a teacher just like Mrs. Rebecca. Chris doesn't know what he wants to be yet.

What he _does_ do, however, is come out to his dads as queer. He's not too sure about labels, but he wants the world to know that he's not straight. Even though he comes out to a gay and a bisexual parent, both Jerry and Milton are sure it takes a lot of courage. They congratulate Chris and thank him for trusting them, then explain things about the LGBTQ community to Adam. He doesn't really understand it, but he does recognize that _love is love_ , no matter the form.

They're not half-bad at the parenting business.

* * *

They're older now, and their kids have started lives of their own. They move into a smaller house, closer to Jack and Kim, where they can spend weekends together and reminisce. The Brewers officially get invited to tea time, but only on the weekends. Jack now mentors a newer employee at the dojo, and he fully takes over Bobby Wasabi's previous position as owner. Kim becomes famous at the hospital, seeing as she's the most sought after nurse there. Milton works as the head scientist at the lab, and occasionally teaches a class at the local college. Jerry's taken his business degree and used it to open up a tiny dance studio closer to the beach.

 _It's crazy_ , Jerry thinks, _that we've come this far_. He says as much at their weekend meeting.

"Yeah," Milton responds. "It feels like just yesterday we were entering high school, and now look at us! Professionals, _with kids_ , no less, and we're still here, together. Kim hums.

Jack smirks. "Whaddya say guys: Wasabi?" They all grin, meet their hands in the middle, and throw them up.

"WASABI!"

_fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for taking this journey with me! This has been such an emotional experience and I'm so glad I got to share it with everyone. I love each and every one of you dearly, and I want to thank you for your continued patience and kindness towards me.
> 
> Let me know if you want to see more works in this universe, like one-shots of deleted scenes or stories told from Milton's perspective! I'll do my best to respond to you all, especially because I don't wanna leave the fandom just yet.
> 
> Well, I guess that's all from me! I hope you enjoyed this story, and I look forward to seeing you around! <333
> 
> @ nicolestarlightwrites on tumblr


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